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The Accomplished Courtier

Author(s): Anonymous

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THE ACCOMPLISH'D
COURTIER
OR
A new SCHOOL of LOVE;
Being the rareſt and moſt exact Art of wooing
a Maid or Widow, by Way of Dialogue
and complimental expreſſions; with
paſſonate Love-Letters, courtly Sentences,
to expreſs the Elegancy of Love.
EDINBURGH;
Printed and Sold by ARCHIBALD MARTIN, oppoſite the
foot of Forreſter's Wynd, Cowgate, 1764.
The Accompliſh'd COURTIER,
Complimental Expreſſions, applicable to either Sex, intriging
and Wooing, by Way of Dialogue.
Man. SEEING you are alone, I would willingly act
on you, if you pleaſe to accept of my ſervice.
Maid. It is more than I deſire or deſerve, and it would
appear boldneſs in me to accept of a ſtranger's company,
for it is not for me to entertain all ſhews and offers of kindneſs;
I can but thank you for your goodwill, I am not too
diſtant from my own home.
Man. I pray let me bear you company, and by the
make me happy in ſome diſcourſe. Reſolve me a queſtion,
were you ever in love?
Maid. Though it be no manners to anſwer one queſtion
with demanding another, yet will I preſume to aſk you if
you were ne'er in love?
Man. Fair one, from thence ſprings my unhappineſs, I
am too forward in theſe deſires: I have beheld many beauties,
but you have prevailed more than the reſt to conceal
my affections; and I muſt confeſs, in meeting you I have
met with death or life.
Maid. Pray ſpeak in plain terms; I am ignorant of your
meaning.
Man. I deſire you then to know and believe, that I am
realy far in love with you, and I hope you will not ſcorn
motion, if I ſhould deſire you to reward my love with your
favour, and by the way let me intreat you to think that Heaven
hath appointed our ſtrange and accidental meeting,
gave me boldneſs to petition your favour and affection, which
I hope you'll grant.
Maid. Sir, I know not in this caſe how to give an anſwer
that may procure your content; but grant me time to conſider
your motion, and this is my father's houſe, whether if
you pleaſe to come hereafter I will ſtrive to reſolve you:
However you ſhall be welcome.
Man But before I looſe your preſence, which is my
chiefeſt happineſs, let me inform you, that you bear my
heart away with you, and I ſhall only languiſh in ſorrow
till I ſee you again.
Maid. Pray ſir, do not hold me longer in diſcourſe; there
are many jealous eyes that do watch an occaſion, to expoſe
to cenſure, for maintaining with you ſuch an unuſual familiarity;
let me intreat you, as you tender my credit. to
ſave me.
Man. I muſt obey you; honour me with an ordinary ſalutation,
and I will vaniſh like a ſhadow, and return again
to wait on you.
How to attack a Widow.
Man. I Would entreat you fair widow, not to diſcourage
me in my firſt ſuit, ſince your virtuous carriage in
your huſbands life time, hath made me bold to plead for affection,
and to cheriſh a certain hope that I ſhould obtain
your good liking.
Widow. Sir, I would not have you to imagine that my love
of my former huſband was written in a table-book, the letters
whereof may be ſoon wip'd out again: No it was engraven
upon my heart, and there doth remain, to inform me that I
ought not to wrong him with a ſecond marriage.
Man. Nay, widow, I muſt acknowledge you have a fair
pretence to put me off with the remembrance of your ſaid
huſband; but will you always puniſh your ſelf, and faſt from
the joys of marriage?
Widow. It is my full reſolved purpoſe; therefore ſince his
departure I am dead to the world, and do but only live to
ſigh, when I remember I had ſo good a huſband.
Man. His goodneſs is gone with him; and for my part I
will be your loving ſervant: Come come, put off grief; and
as he gave you all contentment in his life, ſo he would alſo
ſire the like after his death.
Widow. You ſpeak unhappily; but pray be ſatisfied that
I entend not to marry yet. I reſpect your good-will, and
other matters will remain ready to requite you.
Man. For other matters I am ſatistied; but your love is
the mark I aim at; I am come to offer ſervice in the right
kind, and therefore you are very much to blame to
the tender of my reſpect.
Widow. You ſpeak myſteriouſly; but I deſire if you love,
ſhew it in ceaſing to proſecute your ſuit; for it I muſt tell
you plain, it will prove fruitleſs, and of no effect.
Man. I cannot believe but that I ſhall be more happy to
obtain your favour. Words are not always the interpretor
of the heart, and I am confident you love me.
Widow. Perſuade yourſelf to it, but I ſhall never give
you cauſe to think ſo; yet I will ever reſpect you, and am
ready to do you any lawful courteſy.
Man. Well I thank you that I have ſo far arrived in a
ſuit I hope hereafter to get deeper into your favour.
Widow. Your hopes are built upon a falſe foundation, and
had I known your intent, I would not have held ſo long a
diſcourſe with you; I muſt leave your company.
Man. Let me rather take my leave, and ſeal a kiſs upon
your lips until I viſit you again; for no mortal widow ſhall
ſhake me off ſo, but that I will come again with more reſolute
affections.
A young man's letter to his ſweetheart.
Dear Madam,
THE long and coſinderate regard, by which, in deep
contemplation, I have eyed your moſt rare and ſingular
virtues, joined with ſo admirable beauty, hath moved
me, among a number whom entirely I know do favour you
earneſty to love you, and therewith to offer myſelf to you,
notwithſtanding I may ſeem in ſome eyes the leaſt in worthineſs
of thoſe that often frequent you; yet may you vouchſafe,
in the private cabinet of your heart, to accept of me
as your obliged ſervant. to honour theſe rare virtues which
your moſt excellent perſon is adorned with. If fervent and
aſſured love, grounded upon the undecayable ſtay and prop
of your virtues; if continual vows and my ſervices; if never
ceaſing and tormenting grief, uncertainly carried by a hazardous
expectation. cloſed in the circle of your gracious conceit,
whither to bring into the cares of my ſoul, ſweet murmer of
life, or ſevere ſentence of a preſent death, may or ought to
prevail, either to move, intreat, ſolicit, or perſwade you I
then am the man who does honour in inward thoughts the
dignity of ſo worthy a creature, and priſing in deepeſt weight
(tho' not to your utmoſt value) the eſtimate of ſo incomparable
a beauty, have reſolved living to love you, and dying
never to ſerve other but you; from whoſe delicate looks, expecting
no worſe acceptance than may ſeem anſwerable to ſo
divine an execellency, I remain
Your moſt affectionate, loyal,
And perpetual devoted
T— P—.
The Maiden's Reply.
That men have art and ſkill, by ſundry commendable
parts, enabled to ſet forth their meaning, there needeth,
as I think, no other teſtimony than your preſent writing:
Your eloquence is far beyond the reach of my poor wit, and
the numberer of your praiſes fitter for a goddeſs, than to the
correction of ſuch an earthly dreſs; for my part I hold them
as the fancies and toys of men, iſſuing from the weakneſs of
their humours: and how far my ſelf can deſerve, none than
myſelf can better conceive. Being one of good ſort as you
are, I could do no leſs than write again unto you, the rather
to ſatisfy the importunity of your meſſenger, wiſhing
ſuch an one to your lot, as well as paragnize thoſe excellencies
you write of, and anſwer every way unto the
of all thoſe ineſtimable praiſes: I leave you, and am
Yours,
As far as modeſty will permit to anſwer courteſiousies,
J- G-.
A Letter from a young Man in Town to his Sweetheart
in the Country, putting her in mind of her Promiſe.
Sweet-heart,
MY loving reſpects preſented to you, and your good friends,
although at preſent our bodies are ſepareted ſomewhat
aſunder, yet not the inward love of thy heart wax coldneſs,
let us bear in mind a faithful love to one another: Had
ſome occaſſions unlooked for ſtept in the way, I had
upon you before this time; but yet I hope a week's time
not in any ways be a bar to keep you from your promiſe.
In the mean time I ſhall intreat you to accept of this a
token of my love, who am your languiſhing lover until the
time as I ſee you, and ſeal thoſe promiſes with the fact
of wedlock, deſiring to be pardoned for my boldneſs, I am
wholly,
Your's to be commanded.
The Maids Reply.
Sir,
HE that never offended may ſoon be pardoned; as for
poor ſervice, if it will be any ways beneficial to you,
ſhall think myſelf happy, and hope on my ſide there was
no complaint of breaking promiſes I deſire nothing other
than your company, if it be not prejudicial to you, and ſhall
think every hour a month till I ſee you. Thus not deſiring to
be burthenſome in my writings, commit I you to divineers,
and am,
Your's in what I may,
A Clown's praiſe of his Miſtreſs.
EXCELLENT miſtreſs, brighter than the moon,
The ſcowred pewter, or the ſilver ſpoon;
Fairer than Phæbus, or the morning ſtar,
Dainty fair miſtreſs by my trouth you are:
As far exceeding Diana and her nymphs.
As lobſter, crawfiſh, and as crawfiſh ſhrimps,
Thine eyes like diamonds ſhine moſt clearly,
As I'm an honeſt man, I love the dearly.
His Epiſtle to her.
Love becauſe it comes to me by kind,
And much, becauſe it much delights my mind;
And thee, becauſe it much delights my heart,
And thee alone, becauſe of thy deſert;
My love, and much, and thee, and thee alone,
By kind, mind, heart, and every one.
Her Anſwer.
Thou loveſt not becauſe thou art unkind,
Nor much, 'cauſe it delighteth not thy mind;
Nor me, becauſe I am not in thy heart,
Nor me alone becauſe I want deſert:
Thou lov'd not much, nor me, nor me alone,
Nor kind, mind, heart, deſert nor any one.
POSIES for RlNGS, &c.
AS I expect ſo let me find,
A faithful heart, and conſtant mind.
My faith is given, this pledge doth ſhow,
A work of Heaven perform'd below.
Much liking in my choice I find,
That none but death can change my mind.
On a Pair of Gloves preſented.
Direct, to thee I ſend theſe gloves,
If you love me,
Leave out the G,
Make it a pair of loves.
On the Letters W I F E.
THE W is double wealth,
the I an everlaſting joy;
The F a friend unto man's health,
the E doth end even all annoy.
The Reply.
THE W is double woe,
the I nought elſe but jealouſy;
The F a fleeting flattering foe,
the E an earthly enemy.
A Song for the Wedding Night.
HOW is that welcome night addreſs'd,
When love and beauty make a feaſt;
Let not the bridegroom be afraid,
Though he encounters with a maid:
She'll ſquek, ſhe'll cry,
She'll then begin to tremble;
But take her and rouſe her,
And mouze her, and touze her,
You'll find ſhe does but diſſemble.
Now miſtreſs bride this much to you,
The item I ſhall give is true;
Young maidens muſt not be too coy,
To entertain their wiſhed joy:
But take him and hug him,
And tug him and lug him,
For thus true love is try'd:
Nor be nice in yielding,
But loving and willing,
To grant what muſt not be deny'd.
FINIS.

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The Accomplished Courtier. 2021. In The Corpus of Modern Scottish Writing. Glasgow: University of Glasgow. Retrieved December 2021, from http://www.scottishcorpus.ac.uk/cmsw/document/?documentid=135.

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"The Accomplished Courtier." The Corpus of Modern Scottish Writing. Glasgow: University of Glasgow, 2021. Web. December 2021. http://www.scottishcorpus.ac.uk/cmsw/document/?documentid=135.

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The Accomplished Courtier

Document Information

Document ID 135
Title The Accomplished Courtier
Year group 1750-1800
Genre Journalism
Year of publication 1764
Wordcount 2050

Author information: Anonymous

Author ID 494
Surname Anonymous