Document 1719
Scots Tung Wittins 68
Author(s): Robert Fairnie
Copyright holder(s): Name withheld
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Nummer 68
Julie 1999
Keepin a guid Scots tung in yer heid's nae guid! Lat it oot an uise it!
Scots Tung WITTINS
Eydentlie uphaudin the Scots Leid Campaine
E-screive: [CENSORED: emailaddress] Ph. [CENSORED: phonenumber]
Glesca Univairsitie an the Scots Language.
THE follaein nummers o collegianers lairnin the Scots language at Glesca Univairsitie haes been gien oot bi Professor Graham Caie o the English Language Depairtment.
Year 1: the'r a five week pairt o tairm 3 gien up tae Scots language. The cless this year haes weel ower 350 collegianers an neist year, it's kent that it'll be 380. This is an innin tae Scots that haes tae be taen bi awbodie on the level 1 coorse in English Language.
Level 2: at this level, collegianers is gien a chyce tae dae topics an 45 collegianers frae English Language chaises tae dae Scots. At this level, the collegianers is learnt baith historical an modren Scots (byleids) forbye Scots in eddication, dictionars an the forderin o Scots.
Collegianers frae the Scottish Leeterature Depairtment, aroond 30 ilka year, daesna hae onie chyce an haes tae be learned Scots.
In the 3rt an 4rt (honours years) the'r twa coorses in Scots, ane the History o Scots an the tither the Stylistics o Modren Scots. Ilka coorse haes aroond 15 collegianers.
Professor Caie says that in onie ane year, Glesca Univairsitie learns Scots tae c. 470 collegianers.
~~~ooo~~~
[NOTE: image here of Iain W.D.Forde's name in original]
THE PAIX MACHINE
bi Iain W. D. Forde
~~~~~ooooo~~~~~
A three pairt, poleetical novel
hail-heiditlie in the Scots Leid. Ye'll can obteen copies frae
the owthor at the abuin backin
for
£12.99 (+£1.50 p.p.)
~~~~~ooooo~~~~~
Scots Tung WITTINS
on the wab.
The Scots Tung Wittins can be vizzied or doon-loadit an prentit (noo in HTML format forbye) frae the wab-steid o :-
The Scots Speikers Curn, Glesca.
Wab-steid backin :-
http://www.mlove.free-online.co.uk/
~~~ooo~~~
Scotland's ile, Scotland's fish an Scotland's words.
WI greedy hoggs for neibours, hou lang afore thay hae the verra serks aff wir backs no tae mint the breeks aff wir hielandmen? No content wi pauchlin six thoosan square mile o wir sea, wi aw oor fish an aw oor ile an aw oor gas, an mudgin oor mairches ower the water up frae Berwick tae Carnoustie, noo thay'r efter oor verra words an aw. Is naethin sacred tae thae fowk?
The Concise Oxford Dictionar haes juist pauchelt anither leet o guid Scots words tae eik tae the thoosans it haes taen afore ower the last three hunner year. The new edeetion o the COD o the English language, leets a new hairst o Scots words, the likes o, glaikit, rammy, broo (thank guidness thay didna git buroo as weel), beastie, bawbee, gutty, crack, footer an chitter. If it gauns on lik this, parteeclar gin ye coont aw the words shared atween the twa leids, the'll suin be mair Scots words in the English dictionars nor we hae in oor Scots anes. If onlie we haed a „Wallace' at Holyrood (Naw, no thon ane! The ither ane!) wi the smeddum tae staun up an say, "Ye micht tak oor words but ye'll niver be able tae pronounce thaim richt!"?
The follaein words an phrases wis walit oot the columns o the Scotsman the ither week:-
"Cheynged days", "Aye, summer's here" "Ah want ma mammon", "comparative dunderheids", "Nae chance", "plain-clothes polis", "Jings man, dae ye no read yer Bible?", "a wee mistake", "still on sweeties.........a sugarelly (sugarallie) statue", "As we forgaithered", "jaunty moothie", "Awa Whigs, awa", "hard- blawin", "kirk session", "night playing of the great pype through the haill toune in the company of some drunken persons", "present girning", "get their photies took" an "speak weel o pipers, your faither was a fiddler." We dinna ken whit dictionars thae words wis taen frae but at least we ken that, wi the Scotsman, thay'll aye gie us thaim back agane.
Neist Forgaitherin. Mon. 30t. Aug. 1999 7.30pm tae 9.00pm Sma Lounge or Conf. Rm. 1. Brunton Ha, Musselburgh
~~~ooo~~~
Words o the Scottish First Meenister.
DONALD Dewar, the Scottish First Meenister, wis quotit on the tellie as
sayin, "We'll make our own decisions and we'll go our own gate." Sae near an yet sae faur!
~~~ooo~~~
Wee Alickie no weel an haes tae tak a brek?
[NOTE: A Wee Alickie cartoon here in original]
AIBERDEEN'S Wee Alickie haes haed tae gaun intae thon kenspeckle Priory Clinic tae try an git his heid thegither. It's aguid job the Green Final's shuttin doon for a puckle weeks tae faw in wi Scottish fitba's summer brek an we howp the wee man's aw better bi the stert o the new season. The'r monie stories gaun aboot on hou Alickie haes been takin rowth o stick frae the Pittodrie fans for the wey the side haes been playin an the'r threaps comin oot o Denmark that aiblins Ebbe Skovdahl, the Dons' new gaffer, micht be gaun tae gie him his jotters. Aw this haes been juist ower muckle for the 64 year auld wee man an, afore he gaed sooth, he screivit a wee line tae the Real McCabe sayin, "A'm nae spikin tae the press – nae even you. Ah canna tak it ony mair. In fact Ah canna even spik richt." (Sorry, we didna mean it! – Ed.)
We unnerstaun that git weel suin cairds haes stertit poorin in frae aw the airts an greetins haes arrived frae some o Alickie's guid freends, the likes o, Oor Wullie, the Broons, Orville the duck, Cuddles the chimp, Emu an Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Awbodie at Scots Tung wad lik Wee Alickie tae ken that we sen oor ain couthie thochts tae him an aw, an howp he suin gits back tae his ain cheerie wee sel for anither 64 year.
"Some o the faimly killed.....or wayr!!"
THE Press an Journal haed Anne Morrison giein her Seturday Sermon aw in her ain Doric byleid o Scots an the follaein wee swatch fair grippit the ee:-
"There's aften spik aboot foo mony peer fowk there are in the country. Peer? Wi wir gran hooses, cars (sometimes twa tae a faimly), ilky fitted kitchen wi its dishwasher an washin-machine, TV an video, an mair maet an claes than we ken fit tae dae wi, files.
Fit wey can we use sic a word fan on that same TV we watch ilky nicht refugees in Kosovo an ither places wi naewey tae bide an nae transport; juist the claes they stan up in; nae eneuch maet for their bairns let aleen themsels, an some o the faimly killed......or waur."
~~~ooo~~~
Puir Wee Greetin-faced Monoglot Scones!
RIKKI Broon, screivin in The Sun (3t. Juin), maks a richt bauchle o the chyce o Burns' "A Man's a Man For A' That", insteid o the British Naitional Anthem, for the openin o wir Scottish pairliament on 1st. Julie. He girns aboot no bein able tae unnerstaun the likes o "Ye see yon birkie ca'd a lord" an "Gude faith he mauna fa' that" an threaps, "Sorry, I only speak English because my school didn't have utter gibberish on the curriculum." Sic a threap says it aw aboot the puir sowel's eddication, or the want o't, an e'en gin he cuid unnerstaun the language, Burns' words wad be tint on sic a tuim-heidit, nairra-nebbit birkie.
Gary Keown, screivin in the Sunday Mail (13t. Juin), is tarred wi the same kinna brush. In his best monoglot Queen's English, he says, "Oor politeecians canna staun up in public an speak English athoot makin gowks o thirsels. Bairns poor oot the schuils nae better nor hauf leirit an whit daes the Government dae? It gies in tae a curn o upsteerin teuchters that wants tae gar ilka cooncil, coort an hospital tae stert speakin Gaelic. Whit's the pint o garrin fowk tae blether awa in a language that's been replaced? We shuid pit mair maucht intae learnin oor bairns hou tae speak the Queen's English. Gaelic shuid be allooed tae dee a quiet-like, dignified daith."
Fowk lik thae twa, prood tae awn juist the ae language, micht juist as weel redd oot bi-lingual an tri-lingual frae thair praicious Queen's English that thay wad hae awbodie else uise. Whit heich-heidit fowk tae threap awbodie shuid speak juist the ae language an that language haes tae be the ane that thay uise! Whit ar thay feart o? Thay shuid listen tae a better man nor thirsels an ken that man shuidna be sindert frae his ain hamelt
language, the life bluid o his thochts:-
"Then let us pray that come it may, ---
As come it will for a' that ---
That Sense and Worth o'er a' the earth,
May bear the gree, and a' that.
For a' that, and a' that,
It's comin yet for a' that,
That Man to Man, the world o'er,
Shall brothers be for a' that!"
~~~ooo~~~
Scots Medium Lairnin In Angus Cooncil Schuils?
CONTER tae the raicent SCCC report, Angus Cooncil haes come oot wi proponed guidelines for Scots medium lairnin in aw its nursery an primary schuils.
Jim Anderson, the cooncil's Director o Eddication, haes screivit (in English) tae the SCCC sayin, "Teachers shuid gie a lift tae bairns ettlin tae express thirsels in Scots richt throu the curriculum an no juist in the airts o lairnin language. Staff shuid be sensitive tae the bairns' uiss o accent an byleid an shuidna correck Scots weys o speakin excep whan it gits in the wey o feckfu communication.
Bi uisin Scots thirsels, nursery staff will upsteer bairns tae uise Scots language an, gin staff can uise Scots, athoot onie strangeness, thay shuid dae it.
Primary schuils shuid leuk tae the curriculum in praisent uiss tae mak siccar o an integratit learnin o the Scots language an cultur."
A haundfu o fowk ar gey conter tae the projeck an threap sic a thing wad be a richt mishanter for business. Whit wey is it that juist Scots comes in for this kinna conter an naebodie bothers thair buckie aboot Gaelic medium lairnin? Dae thay aw think Gaelic speakers can be twa-leidit but Scots speakers canna? Nane but a monoglot cuid hae thochts the likes o thon.
~~~ooo~~~
Whit a fleg!!
GEORDIE Jooks wis feart. He didna ken whit in the warld wis happenin tae him. He juist kent he wis feart an it wis thon kinna fear that gruppit his thrapple ticht wi cauld hard baned haunds. He gaithert up aw his maucht tae lat oot a michtie yowl but the grup on his thrapple wis ower ticht an aw that cam oot wis a kinna whispert peelie-wallie groan. This frichtened Geordie aw the mair for he didna ken wha's vice it wis that cam oot his mooth. It wisna the ane he wis expeckin an he juist kent that it wisna his ain. A muckle swall o blin terrification sweeshed ower his hail bein an he makit anither muckle maucht, this time, tae warsle hissel free frae the airn grup on his thrapple but he cuidna muve a muscle an, the mair he tried, the mair his hail bodie felt juist lik a stookie. He cuidna muve a finger or onie ither pairt o his bodie aw, that is, excep his een. He cuid muve his een. Strecht aheid, he cuid see naethin but mirk tho whiles, oot the corners o his een, he cuid see lik wee sperks o licht fleein by. Geordie felt his bodie wis deid frae the craig doon an it wisna awaur o oniethin, but his een wis tellin him, bi the wey the wee lichts wis muvin, that he wis fawin intae a muckle mirkie naethin. Noo he cuid see wee coloured lichts afore him as weel as tae the side an thae anes wis gaun oot an in as thay gaed by. The haund on his thrapple wisna thare onie mair an Geordie cuidna mind it gaun awa. He cuidna mind aither hou he haed gotten intae this seetiation an a wheen o oorie antrin thochts kep on fleein in an oot his heid as his een stertit tae feel blin wi sleep.....wis this whit it felt lik tae be
deein?.......UFO's?........ALIENS?......ABDUCTIONS?.......DWAM? Geordie didna ken whit wis happenin but, gin it wis juist a dwam, aiblins he micht can wauken hissel oot o't sae he crinched his teeth thegither an tried tae wauken up. The lichts afore his een got brichter an he crinched his teeth aw the mair. He stertit tae feel his chafts bitin harder an thocht if he didna stap, his teeth micht brek but the mair he tried tae stap, the mair he crinched till, shuir eneuch, his teeth gied wey an aw the lichts afore him explodit in a muckle bleeze o colour. Geordie kent he wis deid noo, but haud on – whit wis thae twa white craiturs hingin in the air afore his een? War thay angels or.....no, michty me.....no Aliens? He felt he wis in some kinna chaumer an the souch o the place wis gey misty lik haein a haar inside the hoose. The twa craiturs wis lik bogles wi muckle big heids, bumflie een, wee airms an wee shanks. For the first time Geordie felt his hert lowpin in his chist an he wis awaur o the feelin comin back intae his ain airms an shanks an o the sun glentin abuin his heid. The twa craiturs wis leukin strecht at him noo an cam ower nearer, thair heids camshauchelt lik ye wis leukin at thaim throu the end o a ginger bottle. Ane o thaim pit a haund forrit an gruppit Geordie bi the shoother an the orra thing wis that, tho it juist haed a wee haund on the en o its airm, as the haund wis gittin nearer tae him, it got bigger an bigger till bi the time it grippit his shoother, it wis muckle. It wis mair nor a shoogle tae for the haund fair dirlt his shoother an ane o the craiturs stertit tryin tae communicate. It wis aw juist fremmit noises tae Geordie's lugs then, o a suddentie an gey glamourie like, the soonds stertit tae kythe intae words that he kent.
"Weel Geordie, ye'll no hae onie mair bother wi that tuith."
Geordie leukit up an seen the dentist's licht abuin his heid.
"Thank Guidness!" he thocht, "Whit a fleg tae gie oniebodie!"
Makars' Neuk
A hoose is but a puppet-box
To keep life's images frae knocks,
But mannikins scrieve oot their sauls
Upon its craw-steps and its walls:
Whaur hae they writ them mair sublime
Than on yon gable-ends o time?
Lewis Spence
Julie 1999
Keepin a guid Scots tung in yer heid's nae guid! Lat it oot an uise it!
Scots Tung WITTINS
Eydentlie uphaudin the Scots Leid Campaine
E-screive: [CENSORED: emailaddress] Ph. [CENSORED: phonenumber]
Glesca Univairsitie an the Scots Language.
THE follaein nummers o collegianers lairnin the Scots language at Glesca Univairsitie haes been gien oot bi Professor Graham Caie o the English Language Depairtment.
Year 1: the'r a five week pairt o tairm 3 gien up tae Scots language. The cless this year haes weel ower 350 collegianers an neist year, it's kent that it'll be 380. This is an innin tae Scots that haes tae be taen bi awbodie on the level 1 coorse in English Language.
Level 2: at this level, collegianers is gien a chyce tae dae topics an 45 collegianers frae English Language chaises tae dae Scots. At this level, the collegianers is learnt baith historical an modren Scots (byleids) forbye Scots in eddication, dictionars an the forderin o Scots.
Collegianers frae the Scottish Leeterature Depairtment, aroond 30 ilka year, daesna hae onie chyce an haes tae be learned Scots.
In the 3rt an 4rt (honours years) the'r twa coorses in Scots, ane the History o Scots an the tither the Stylistics o Modren Scots. Ilka coorse haes aroond 15 collegianers.
Professor Caie says that in onie ane year, Glesca Univairsitie learns Scots tae c. 470 collegianers.
~~~ooo~~~
[NOTE: image here of Iain W.D.Forde's name in original]
THE PAIX MACHINE
bi Iain W. D. Forde
~~~~~ooooo~~~~~
A three pairt, poleetical novel
hail-heiditlie in the Scots Leid. Ye'll can obteen copies frae
the owthor at the abuin backin
for
£12.99 (+£1.50 p.p.)
~~~~~ooooo~~~~~
Scots Tung WITTINS
on the wab.
The Scots Tung Wittins can be vizzied or doon-loadit an prentit (noo in HTML format forbye) frae the wab-steid o :-
The Scots Speikers Curn, Glesca.
Wab-steid backin :-
http://www.mlove.free-online.co.uk/
~~~ooo~~~
Scotland's ile, Scotland's fish an Scotland's words.
WI greedy hoggs for neibours, hou lang afore thay hae the verra serks aff wir backs no tae mint the breeks aff wir hielandmen? No content wi pauchlin six thoosan square mile o wir sea, wi aw oor fish an aw oor ile an aw oor gas, an mudgin oor mairches ower the water up frae Berwick tae Carnoustie, noo thay'r efter oor verra words an aw. Is naethin sacred tae thae fowk?
The Concise Oxford Dictionar haes juist pauchelt anither leet o guid Scots words tae eik tae the thoosans it haes taen afore ower the last three hunner year. The new edeetion o the COD o the English language, leets a new hairst o Scots words, the likes o, glaikit, rammy, broo (thank guidness thay didna git buroo as weel), beastie, bawbee, gutty, crack, footer an chitter. If it gauns on lik this, parteeclar gin ye coont aw the words shared atween the twa leids, the'll suin be mair Scots words in the English dictionars nor we hae in oor Scots anes. If onlie we haed a „Wallace' at Holyrood (Naw, no thon ane! The ither ane!) wi the smeddum tae staun up an say, "Ye micht tak oor words but ye'll niver be able tae pronounce thaim richt!"?
The follaein words an phrases wis walit oot the columns o the Scotsman the ither week:-
"Cheynged days", "Aye, summer's here" "Ah want ma mammon", "comparative dunderheids", "Nae chance", "plain-clothes polis", "Jings man, dae ye no read yer Bible?", "a wee mistake", "still on sweeties.........a sugarelly (sugarallie) statue", "As we forgaithered", "jaunty moothie", "Awa Whigs, awa", "hard- blawin", "kirk session", "night playing of the great pype through the haill toune in the company of some drunken persons", "present girning", "get their photies took" an "speak weel o pipers, your faither was a fiddler." We dinna ken whit dictionars thae words wis taen frae but at least we ken that, wi the Scotsman, thay'll aye gie us thaim back agane.
Neist Forgaitherin. Mon. 30t. Aug. 1999 7.30pm tae 9.00pm Sma Lounge or Conf. Rm. 1. Brunton Ha, Musselburgh
~~~ooo~~~
Words o the Scottish First Meenister.
DONALD Dewar, the Scottish First Meenister, wis quotit on the tellie as
sayin, "We'll make our own decisions and we'll go our own gate." Sae near an yet sae faur!
~~~ooo~~~
Wee Alickie no weel an haes tae tak a brek?
[NOTE: A Wee Alickie cartoon here in original]
AIBERDEEN'S Wee Alickie haes haed tae gaun intae thon kenspeckle Priory Clinic tae try an git his heid thegither. It's aguid job the Green Final's shuttin doon for a puckle weeks tae faw in wi Scottish fitba's summer brek an we howp the wee man's aw better bi the stert o the new season. The'r monie stories gaun aboot on hou Alickie haes been takin rowth o stick frae the Pittodrie fans for the wey the side haes been playin an the'r threaps comin oot o Denmark that aiblins Ebbe Skovdahl, the Dons' new gaffer, micht be gaun tae gie him his jotters. Aw this haes been juist ower muckle for the 64 year auld wee man an, afore he gaed sooth, he screivit a wee line tae the Real McCabe sayin, "A'm nae spikin tae the press – nae even you. Ah canna tak it ony mair. In fact Ah canna even spik richt." (Sorry, we didna mean it! – Ed.)
We unnerstaun that git weel suin cairds haes stertit poorin in frae aw the airts an greetins haes arrived frae some o Alickie's guid freends, the likes o, Oor Wullie, the Broons, Orville the duck, Cuddles the chimp, Emu an Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. Awbodie at Scots Tung wad lik Wee Alickie tae ken that we sen oor ain couthie thochts tae him an aw, an howp he suin gits back tae his ain cheerie wee sel for anither 64 year.
"Some o the faimly killed.....or wayr!!"
THE Press an Journal haed Anne Morrison giein her Seturday Sermon aw in her ain Doric byleid o Scots an the follaein wee swatch fair grippit the ee:-
"There's aften spik aboot foo mony peer fowk there are in the country. Peer? Wi wir gran hooses, cars (sometimes twa tae a faimly), ilky fitted kitchen wi its dishwasher an washin-machine, TV an video, an mair maet an claes than we ken fit tae dae wi, files.
Fit wey can we use sic a word fan on that same TV we watch ilky nicht refugees in Kosovo an ither places wi naewey tae bide an nae transport; juist the claes they stan up in; nae eneuch maet for their bairns let aleen themsels, an some o the faimly killed......or waur."
~~~ooo~~~
Puir Wee Greetin-faced Monoglot Scones!
RIKKI Broon, screivin in The Sun (3t. Juin), maks a richt bauchle o the chyce o Burns' "A Man's a Man For A' That", insteid o the British Naitional Anthem, for the openin o wir Scottish pairliament on 1st. Julie. He girns aboot no bein able tae unnerstaun the likes o "Ye see yon birkie ca'd a lord" an "Gude faith he mauna fa' that" an threaps, "Sorry, I only speak English because my school didn't have utter gibberish on the curriculum." Sic a threap says it aw aboot the puir sowel's eddication, or the want o't, an e'en gin he cuid unnerstaun the language, Burns' words wad be tint on sic a tuim-heidit, nairra-nebbit birkie.
Gary Keown, screivin in the Sunday Mail (13t. Juin), is tarred wi the same kinna brush. In his best monoglot Queen's English, he says, "Oor politeecians canna staun up in public an speak English athoot makin gowks o thirsels. Bairns poor oot the schuils nae better nor hauf leirit an whit daes the Government dae? It gies in tae a curn o upsteerin teuchters that wants tae gar ilka cooncil, coort an hospital tae stert speakin Gaelic. Whit's the pint o garrin fowk tae blether awa in a language that's been replaced? We shuid pit mair maucht intae learnin oor bairns hou tae speak the Queen's English. Gaelic shuid be allooed tae dee a quiet-like, dignified daith."
Fowk lik thae twa, prood tae awn juist the ae language, micht juist as weel redd oot bi-lingual an tri-lingual frae thair praicious Queen's English that thay wad hae awbodie else uise. Whit heich-heidit fowk tae threap awbodie shuid speak juist the ae language an that language haes tae be the ane that thay uise! Whit ar thay feart o? Thay shuid listen tae a better man nor thirsels an ken that man shuidna be sindert frae his ain hamelt
language, the life bluid o his thochts:-
"Then let us pray that come it may, ---
As come it will for a' that ---
That Sense and Worth o'er a' the earth,
May bear the gree, and a' that.
For a' that, and a' that,
It's comin yet for a' that,
That Man to Man, the world o'er,
Shall brothers be for a' that!"
~~~ooo~~~
Scots Medium Lairnin In Angus Cooncil Schuils?
CONTER tae the raicent SCCC report, Angus Cooncil haes come oot wi proponed guidelines for Scots medium lairnin in aw its nursery an primary schuils.
Jim Anderson, the cooncil's Director o Eddication, haes screivit (in English) tae the SCCC sayin, "Teachers shuid gie a lift tae bairns ettlin tae express thirsels in Scots richt throu the curriculum an no juist in the airts o lairnin language. Staff shuid be sensitive tae the bairns' uiss o accent an byleid an shuidna correck Scots weys o speakin excep whan it gits in the wey o feckfu communication.
Bi uisin Scots thirsels, nursery staff will upsteer bairns tae uise Scots language an, gin staff can uise Scots, athoot onie strangeness, thay shuid dae it.
Primary schuils shuid leuk tae the curriculum in praisent uiss tae mak siccar o an integratit learnin o the Scots language an cultur."
A haundfu o fowk ar gey conter tae the projeck an threap sic a thing wad be a richt mishanter for business. Whit wey is it that juist Scots comes in for this kinna conter an naebodie bothers thair buckie aboot Gaelic medium lairnin? Dae thay aw think Gaelic speakers can be twa-leidit but Scots speakers canna? Nane but a monoglot cuid hae thochts the likes o thon.
~~~ooo~~~
Whit a fleg!!
GEORDIE Jooks wis feart. He didna ken whit in the warld wis happenin tae him. He juist kent he wis feart an it wis thon kinna fear that gruppit his thrapple ticht wi cauld hard baned haunds. He gaithert up aw his maucht tae lat oot a michtie yowl but the grup on his thrapple wis ower ticht an aw that cam oot wis a kinna whispert peelie-wallie groan. This frichtened Geordie aw the mair for he didna ken wha's vice it wis that cam oot his mooth. It wisna the ane he wis expeckin an he juist kent that it wisna his ain. A muckle swall o blin terrification sweeshed ower his hail bein an he makit anither muckle maucht, this time, tae warsle hissel free frae the airn grup on his thrapple but he cuidna muve a muscle an, the mair he tried, the mair his hail bodie felt juist lik a stookie. He cuidna muve a finger or onie ither pairt o his bodie aw, that is, excep his een. He cuid muve his een. Strecht aheid, he cuid see naethin but mirk tho whiles, oot the corners o his een, he cuid see lik wee sperks o licht fleein by. Geordie felt his bodie wis deid frae the craig doon an it wisna awaur o oniethin, but his een wis tellin him, bi the wey the wee lichts wis muvin, that he wis fawin intae a muckle mirkie naethin. Noo he cuid see wee coloured lichts afore him as weel as tae the side an thae anes wis gaun oot an in as thay gaed by. The haund on his thrapple wisna thare onie mair an Geordie cuidna mind it gaun awa. He cuidna mind aither hou he haed gotten intae this seetiation an a wheen o oorie antrin thochts kep on fleein in an oot his heid as his een stertit tae feel blin wi sleep.....wis this whit it felt lik tae be
deein?.......UFO's?........ALIENS?......ABDUCTIONS?.......DWAM? Geordie didna ken whit wis happenin but, gin it wis juist a dwam, aiblins he micht can wauken hissel oot o't sae he crinched his teeth thegither an tried tae wauken up. The lichts afore his een got brichter an he crinched his teeth aw the mair. He stertit tae feel his chafts bitin harder an thocht if he didna stap, his teeth micht brek but the mair he tried tae stap, the mair he crinched till, shuir eneuch, his teeth gied wey an aw the lichts afore him explodit in a muckle bleeze o colour. Geordie kent he wis deid noo, but haud on – whit wis thae twa white craiturs hingin in the air afore his een? War thay angels or.....no, michty me.....no Aliens? He felt he wis in some kinna chaumer an the souch o the place wis gey misty lik haein a haar inside the hoose. The twa craiturs wis lik bogles wi muckle big heids, bumflie een, wee airms an wee shanks. For the first time Geordie felt his hert lowpin in his chist an he wis awaur o the feelin comin back intae his ain airms an shanks an o the sun glentin abuin his heid. The twa craiturs wis leukin strecht at him noo an cam ower nearer, thair heids camshauchelt lik ye wis leukin at thaim throu the end o a ginger bottle. Ane o thaim pit a haund forrit an gruppit Geordie bi the shoother an the orra thing wis that, tho it juist haed a wee haund on the en o its airm, as the haund wis gittin nearer tae him, it got bigger an bigger till bi the time it grippit his shoother, it wis muckle. It wis mair nor a shoogle tae for the haund fair dirlt his shoother an ane o the craiturs stertit tryin tae communicate. It wis aw juist fremmit noises tae Geordie's lugs then, o a suddentie an gey glamourie like, the soonds stertit tae kythe intae words that he kent.
"Weel Geordie, ye'll no hae onie mair bother wi that tuith."
Geordie leukit up an seen the dentist's licht abuin his heid.
"Thank Guidness!" he thocht, "Whit a fleg tae gie oniebodie!"
Makars' Neuk
A hoose is but a puppet-box
To keep life's images frae knocks,
But mannikins scrieve oot their sauls
Upon its craw-steps and its walls:
Whaur hae they writ them mair sublime
Than on yon gable-ends o time?
Lewis Spence
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Scots Tung Wittins 68
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