Author(s): Anna Blair
Copyright holder(s): Anna Blair
Miss Anderson that mothered us
Miss Brodie that amused
Miss Callum wi' her adenoids
Jock Donald who confused
Miss Esk that ruled the corridors
And Mistress 'Sad' Fedor
(Not a 'Miss' because she was
A widow from the war)
Ned Graham with his sarky taunts
Miss Hogg wi' dangly jewels.
Kaiser Isa belted us
For never-heeding rules
Miss Johnson in her spotty frocks
That taught us how to parse,
We'd Lanky Kerr and Paddy Linn
(Who couldn't say his 'Rs')
You'd Martin, aye, and Nicolson
And Irish Tim O'Toole
You mind he ran the football team
And tried to run the school?
We done wir seams for 'Thimble' Pearce
Wi' grubby thread and pin
And never done a stroke of work
For gormless Mister Quinn
Ross and Smith (the faceless kind)
I scarce can mind at a'
But Miss Thom wi' her long hair-braid
We used to call 'The Squaw'
Big Urquart first, then Jerry Vonn
Was Heidie at St. Mick's
Ma Wills, Miss Cross and Patsy Young
We roasted wi' wir tricks.
Then Tony Zavaroni too
(That's father kep' a caff)
He jouked into the corners with
The Biddies on the staff.
Teachers! Och beyond the rest
The one that topped the lot
A wee wee smout, the plainest Jane
Was magic Miss McWhat!
Of maybe fifty through the years
You loathed some; some admired.
Some bored you, some taught well-enough
But Miss McWhat inspired.
She Wheedled, urged and kep' the heid
A dandy, rare wee gem
She was, without a word of doubt,
The creme, aye, de la creme.
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Cite this Document
The Gem. 2021. In The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech. Glasgow: University of Glasgow. Retrieved January 2021, from http://www.scottishcorpus.ac.uk/document/?documentid=246.
"The Gem." The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech. Glasgow: University of Glasgow, 2021. Web. January 2021. http://www.scottishcorpus.ac.uk/document/?documentid=246.
The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech, s.v., "The Gem," accessed January 2021, http://www.scottishcorpus.ac.uk/document/?documentid=246.
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The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech. 2021. Glasgow: University of Glasgow. http://www.scottishcorpus.ac.uk.