Document 31

An epistle tae Wullie wi the broken jaw

Author(s): George Hynd

Copyright holder(s): George Hynd


Noo Wullie -

A broken jaw must hiv been a terrible thing,
Tied up wi wire, nuts an bolts and wee pieces o' string.
Awbody askin if ye wir still feelin fine
and caw'n ye "The Pittenweem Farankenstein".

Wanderin' hame frae the Lodge wi yer haunds in yer pockit,
Ye tripped up on the pavement and took af like a rockit.
And just like Humpty Dumpty ye hid a great fa'
Hit yer gub aff the kerbstane an smashed up yer jaw!

They tell me ye wir stuck in a hospital bed,
So Ah wis just wonderin hoo the hell wir ye fed?
Yer body wid be screetchin oot fir some fuel
An' ye could nae survive on yon watery gruel!

But a suppose things maybe could hae been a bit wurse
Than being force fed by some big buxom nurse,
Whae wid make sure ye guzzled the wattery tripe
Wi' the aid o' a funnel and a length o'hose pipe!

Nae mince or tatties or guid auld greasy pies,
an' the sicht o' a steak wid bring tears tae yer eyes -
Nae fish or chips or a tasty bit troot,
An' whae wis the sadist that brought ye in fruit?

So Ah suppose ye'll be talkin' like a ventriloquist's dummy,
"Gi'es us a gottle o'geer an a wee dark rummy"
So tae help ye oot here's a wee gift frae me,
An make sure it's just used fur yer O.V.D.!

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APA Style:

An epistle tae Wullie wi the broken jaw. 2024. In The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech. Glasgow: University of Glasgow. Retrieved 23 April 2024, from

MLA Style:

"An epistle tae Wullie wi the broken jaw." The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech. Glasgow: University of Glasgow, 2024. Web. 23 April 2024.

Chicago Style

The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech, s.v., "An epistle tae Wullie wi the broken jaw," accessed 23 April 2024,

If your style guide prefers a single bibliography entry for this resource, we recommend:

The Scottish Corpus of Texts & Speech. 2024. Glasgow: University of Glasgow.


Information about Document 31

An epistle tae Wullie wi the broken jaw


Text audience

General public
Other written for self
Audience size 1

Text details

Method of composition Handwritten
Year of composition 1995
Word count 250

Text type



Author details

Author id 611
Forenames George
Surname Hynd
Gender Male
Decade of birth 1940
Educational attainment None
Age left school 15
Upbringing/religious beliefs Protestantism
Occupation Retired Plasterer
Place of birth Dunfermline
Region of birth Fife
Birthplace CSD dialect area Fif
Country of birth Scotland
Place of residence Bilston, Roslin
Region of residence Midlothian
Residence CSD dialect area midLoth
Father's occupation Plasterer
Father's place of birth Kelty
Father's region of birth Fife
Father's birthplace CSD dialect area Fif
Father's country of birth Scotland
Mother's occupation Housewife
Mother's place of birth Kelty
Mother's region of birth Fife
Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area Fif
Mother's country of birth Scotland


Language Speak Read Write Understand Circumstances
English Yes Yes Yes Yes
Scots Yes Yes Yes Yes