Document 34

Ma Gairden

Author(s): George Hynd

Copyright holder(s): George Hynd

Ah used tae like ma gairden
When it looked like a' the rest
Covered in a snaw white blanket
Wi' natures wintery vest

But the wife she didnae like it
An' she used tae moan at me
"Whit ah really fancy darlin'
is a nice wee rockery"

Well ah went an dug up a' the ground
An' planted lots o stanes
But whit kind o floors kin ye plant among rocks
An hid tae rack ma brains

So ah got a fancy gairdenin' book
Oot o the mobile library
But the floors wir a' named in Latin
No much guid tae me

Then we took a wee walk jist doon the road
Tae oor local gairden centre
An the wife she met a wumman there
It wis obvious she kent her

An if ye ken ma wife at a'
Then ye'll ken how she kin blether
By the time she'd finished gabbin'
There wiz floors upon the heather

Well we got Lobelia's an' tiny wee shrubs
An a pair o minature roses
An soon the scent o ma gairden
Wis gettin' up a'bodies noses

Then we stuck in dwarfs an wee cement frogs
Tae add tae the decoration
An soon the gairden wis ma pride an joy
My it wis a wundrous creation

Ah built a burd bath, an a wee totty barry
Then added a big muckle gnome
An noo ma ain wee cooncil hoose
Is mair like a stately home

A've often wondered whit a'll dae
When ma gairdens a' complete
Ah'll maybe get a pair o Lions
Jist like yon place Longleat

Then a'body wid come tae see it
In big que's ootside they'd wait
'Cos ah'd get masel a wee ticket machine
An they'd pay tae get in at the gate

Information about Document 34

Ma Gairden