SCOTS Project - www.scottishcorpus.ac.uk Document : 752 Title : Aboot Cuddies an Camels Author(s): Robert Fairnie Copyright holder(s): Robert Fairnie Text THERE wis a time lang syne when the Sultan o a desert country taen it intae his heid tae build up his country’s transport system an bring it mair intae line wi thon o some o his neibours. He’d heard tell that some o his neibours haed a gey modern transportation system foondit on a prototype unit cried a “cuddy”. Wi a cuddy, it wis threapit a man cuid traivel a sicht further an a sicht faster an cairry a sicht mair wecht o graith nor the wey it wis the noo wi awbody juist uisin thair ain feet for traivellin an thair ain backs for the cairryin. The Sultan cried aw his advisers thegither an got thaim telt that he wantit his country tae hae a modern transportation system an aw, foondit on thon prototype “cuddy” system. He chairged his advisors tae set up a twal man Transportation Comatee, taen frae aw the best academic brains in the country, tae design a prototype “supercuddy” that wad gie thair country the best an maist modern transportation system in the warld. Weel the Comatee got yokit tae an first aff they got haud o some prototype cuddy design drawins an set oot tae tweek a wee bit here an a wee bit thare tae improve on the original design. Ae academic wisnae aw that taen wi the cuddy’s feet. Ithers wis o the consait that the existin feet on the prototype cuddy haed been proven in ither countries sae it micht be best juist tae leave weel alane. “Naw!” said the first yin, “Thae kind o feet micht be aw richt for in the touns or e’en in landwart airts that haes plenty o causie roads but this country haes naethin but desert sand frae ae border tae the tither. A doot thae kind o feet micht sink intae the sand an the cuddy micht end up cowpin ower. A think the contact area o the fit haes tae be made a guid bit bigger sae as tae cut doon the pressure per square centimetre on the sand an that wey the feet winnae sink sae faur in.” Thon wis juist yin o the mony chynges the comatee cam oot wi. The middle o the cuddy’s back wis heezed up an the legs lenthened sae that the rider cuid see ower the knowes frae the fit o the howes in the sand. Coorse langer shanks meant a langer neck an then reserve watter tanks an reserve fuid stores wis fittit. Efter mony years the super-cuddy wis feinisht an presentit tae the Sultan. The Sultan cuidnae believe his een when he first got sicht o the new prototype an speirt, “Whit in the name o the wee man is this ugsome craitur for it leuks naethin like a cuddy an ye aw ken fine it wis a cuddy that A wis efter?” The comatee set aboot pyntin oot aw the advantages the new design haed ower the auld yin an in the hinneren the Sultan, kennin there wisnae nae time tae stert ower agane, said they wad juist hae tae try it oot an mak the best o’t then he added, “But we cannae cry this ugsome thing a cuddy for it disnae leuk naethin like yin. Whit are we gaun tae cry it?” The comatee scartit thair heids then ane o thaim proposed tae cry it a “camel”. “A camel? Whit’s a camel?” “A dinnae ken but it soonds aboot richt.” “Wait a meenit, A’ve fund it in ma dictionar.” cried anither an read it oot tae awbody, “Camel – the final ootcome ilka time a comatee sets oot tae design a cuddy, whiles better kent as the ship o the desert.” “Weel A doot it’ll hae tae be ‘camel’ efter aw.” said the Sultan, “Some bluidy cuddy this haes turnt oot tae be! Nixt time, A’d be juist as weel daein the job masel!” This work is protected by copyright. All rights reserved. The SCOTS Project and the University of Glasgow do not necessarily endorse, support or recommend the views expressed in this document. Information about document and author: Text Text audience Adults (18+): General public: Audience size: 100+ Text details Method of composition: Wordprocessed Year of composition: 2003 Word count: 664 Text medium Web (webpages, discussion boards, newsgroups, chat rooms): Text setting Private/personal: Text type Prose: fiction: Author Author details Author id: 95 Forenames: Robert Surname: Fairnie Gender: Male Decade of birth: 1930 Educational attainment: College Age left school: 16 Upbringing/religious beliefs: Protestantism Occupation: Consultant Marine Structural Engineer (Retired) Place of birth: Musselburgh Region of birth: Midlothian Birthplace CSD dialect area: midLoth Country of birth: Scotland Place of residence: Musselburgh Region of residence: Midlothian Residence CSD dialect area: midLoth Country of residence: Scotland Father's occupation: Fisherman Father's place of birth: Musselburgh Father's region of birth: Midlothian Father's birthplace CSD dialect area: midLoth Father's country of birth: Scotland Mother's occupation: Fishwife Mother's place of birth: Musselburgh Mother's region of birth: Midlothian Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area: midLoth Mother's country of birth: Scotland Languages: Language: English Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: At work Language: German Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: In Germany to communicate with two grandsons Language: Scots Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: Wherever Scots is understood