SCOTS Project - www.scottishcorpus.ac.uk Document : 353 Title : Conversation 03: Ayrshire couple on motorcycling Author(s): N/A Copyright holder(s): Prof John B Corbett SCOTS Project Content label: This document contains strong or offensive language Audio transcription M608: That's good. Where's mine? There? F643: mmhm M608: [inhale] That's great. Thank you. Well, cheers! F643: Cheers, my dears! M642: Slainte! M608: Slainte! M642: As I said earlier, 'Health and Happiness'. M608: Health and Happiness? //[inaudible]// M642: //The rest's// a bonus. M608: mmhm [drinking] I mean I know, I know Louise is from Ayr, because I grew up with Louise, but I mean are you fr- also from //Ayr [inaudible]// M642: //Louise is here.// M608: Yeah. F643: uh-huh M642: You were gesturing towards our //young lady from Brazil.// M608: //I just ge-, I just gesture at random.// //[laugh]// M642: //[laugh]// F643: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: Louise //is from Ayr, eh, [inaudible]// F643: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: eh, f- God I've had a lot //to drink, [?]I'm done in[/?]// M608: //But did, did,// did you grow up in Ayr as well? M642: [click] oh very much so. M608: mmhm M642: I was born in, s-s-t-, no, not sou-, my sister was born in South Lodge. M608: mmhm M642: I was at Invercar, M608: mmhm M642: which I think it just off, Invercar was just off Castlehill Road. F643: uh-huh yeah. mmhm M642: //er// M608: //oh right.// M642: um My parents stayed and we stayed all our days //down in Ailsa// F643: //[cough]// M642: Place. M608: oh right. //okay.// M642: //Just// by the old fort. M608: mm M642: And, er, never moved from there. So, we can create a a half-mile, radius, M608: mmhm M642: and that's us. M608: um, and have, I mean, have you lived outside Ayrshire? M642: No. M608: No? M642: Other than Jordanhill. M608: Other than Jordanhill? And that was for what, teacher training? M642: Yeah, well, P.E. M608: P.E., aye. M642: Three years, Jordanhill. M608: And did you actually live in Glasgow at the time? M642: Monday to Friday, yeah. M608: mm Yeah. M642: So, well there's some that, a couple of photographs, there's another five or six of them that I just didn't [inaudible] copies of; that's Ayr Harbour. M608: oh right. F643: How many did you have of each? There was [exhale] how many harbour ones and how many country scenes, or //something?// M642: //er, it was// about four or five of each of just the better ones? They're all just sitting; they they don't actually belong there. M608: mmhm M642: That was just I shoved them up, eh because Louise is doing a modification, //of erm// F643: //oh aye. God.// M642: some other stuff. F643: The painted //frames [laugh]// M642: //whereas that one up there, above the// the door is more important to me. //[inaudible]// M608: //What's that?// F643: That's the Boys' Own picture of //Stevie,// M642: //Steve// Hislop, British Superbike Motorcycle Champion this year. M608: oh right? M642: And, that's er, he was down at North Harbour Motorcycles M608: uh-huh M642: and that's his 'wee Hizzy helmet'. M608: huh M642: //He's got// F643: //[laugh]// M642: the wee dervish Scottish cycle, kind of, it it's almost like the erm Tasmanian Devil, M608: Aye. M642: but in a kilt. //And that's// M608: //[laugh]// M642: Stevie's erm helmet. And he won the British Superbike Championship this year; he was second the year before. M608: Right? M642: And, er, he signed that for me, so that's up there. And [inaudible] just before we start. //erm, aye, have a look at// M608: //Yeah, what type of cup was this [inaudible]// M642: Aye, have a look at that cup and tell me what it is. M608: er, well I know it's the Calcutta Cup, F643: Cause, I I squealed on you. M608: I squealed //[inaudible]// M642: //ah// //thank you.// F643: //er// [laugh] //[laugh]// M608: //But I didn't,// didn't hear the story; so why are you drinking out the Calcutta Cup? M642: er, Murrayfield, couple of years ago, when we last beat the English and er got the cup, and Davy Good's boy They they they they organised a a presentation dinner, M608: mmhm M642: for personalities and players of the year. M608: mmhm M642: and Davy's boy was Premiership Two Players' Player of the Year. M608: mm M642: So, there was about twelve of us went through from Ayr. And you had an invite to go through. F643: mmhm, but it was a bus and I get travel //sick.// M642: //A mini-// //bus, and didn't want to get through.// F643: //[laugh]// [laugh] M642: And it turned out; the bottom line originally was, that it was like thirty, forty quid a head, //at// M608: //mm// M642: Murrayfield. M608: mmhm M642: And, erm, the coach at the time, Rab Dale, said "Right, erm I don't get paid as the coach, I'm an amateur coach, so as representative of the club, we're going to go through, we're going to take a table and that's my fee for the year." M608: oh right. M642: [inhale] And, as far as the bus was concerned, we would share the cost of the bus, but then he went back to them afterwards and said "Hell, bloody mend you". M608: mmhm M642: So, it actually turned out that the whole night ended up free. I was quite prepared to pay my //yeah// M608: //mmhm// M642: twenty-five, thirty quid, M608: Yeah. M642: to go through But, erm, there was about twelve of us went through, in the mini-bus. Louise, Rab said "does she want to go?" and I asked her and she said, "no I cannae travel on a mini-bus." But, that was the first, the very first, so it's a shame in a way you didn't go to it. And it was all the big personalities were there, setting it up for the very first //time,// M608: //mmhm// F643: [gulp] M642: as the Rugby Sports Personality Dinner Award. M608: Right. M642: And, er because we had happened to beat the English, M608: They were just passing round //the cup, were they?// M642: //And they had// the cup, aye, filled with eh the Famous Grouse, our sponsors. M608: It was filled with whisky? M642: Filled with whisky. M608: So how much did you drink? M642: eh I got there a wee bit late. //[laugh]// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: //But,// F643: //[laugh]// [laugh] M642: the point was, see on the table, M608: Aye. M642: the table was filled with cans of the sponsor's beer. Because, obviously, these brewers, distillers, are all part of conglomerates. M608: Aye. M642: So, There was so much on the table; miniatures of whisky, eh, wine, all the rest of it; it was all sitting there, absolutely buckshee, M608: [laugh] F643: [laugh] M642: and, the cup, was absolutely, totally, filled to the brim with the Famous Grouse, and people were just told, "there it is; there's the cup", and there's a couple of security guards standing, F643: //[laugh]// M608: //mmhm// M642: erm, you know, sort of, what do you call them, 'First Past the Post', these people you see //[inaudible]// M608: //mm// M642: And, it was a matter of "just go up and help yourself", and it was so relaxed. It wasn't that kind of oh, M608: Aye. M642: you got your two mega-seconds People went up when they felt like it. the Calcutta Cup, yeah! F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: And just took a sluggin, so, erm //[inaudible]// F643: //The photo// And the photo's been, erm what is it //computer-edited,// M642: //On the computer, aye.// //aye, because, there were other, all of them were, there were two of them frumpies in// F643: //somewhat, cause there was some quite horrified-looking people [laugh] in the background, which spoils the look of the picture.// M642: the background. //So I took them off// F643: //[laugh]// M608: You digitised them out? M642: I //took my photograph// F643: //Yeah.// M642: up to the school, went to the Art Department, scanned it down into the Art Department computer, and then [?]pictelled[/?] out M608: [laugh] F643: The bad //[?]asses[/?]// M642: //you know, aye,// //and left; I don't know who, I don't know who the guy is in the background.// F643: //[laugh] because of who's in the background [laugh]// M642: But it just, it needed a wee bit, where the pillar is, //I'm// M608: //uh-huh// M642: standing in front of, were two frumpy ladies. M608: [laugh] M642: //uh-huh, aye, so// F643: //Like, with a grumpy expression, which// M642: you get rid of them. M608: Aye. M642: But there's another picture of me and Davy, and we've, we're holding it between us. F643: mmhm M642: //And// M608: //mmhm// M642: that one needs to be done someday as well. F643: //mmhm// M608: //uh-huh// M642: But I'm lucky. You know, to drink out the Calcutta Cup. M608: oh aye. M642: Yeah. //That's// M608: //right.// M642: that's good. So that, and Stevie. [inhale] Stevie broke his neck three years ago. M608: Did he? I mean I don't follow super- //bike.// M642: //He had// a a top side, and did a cartwheel and broke his neck. M608: Right. M642: And then came back a year later, and ended up second in the British Superbikes, and then, this year, won it. M608: oh right. //Could you, are you into bikes as well?// M642: //ah// oh aye. Aye, aye he's er he's what, for- forty this year. And do you know what happened for winning it? M608: No. M642: His team sacked him. //He's// M608: //Why did// M642: too old. M608: You're joking! M642: So, he was on eh Ducatis this year, //for// M608: //un-huh// M642: Monster Mob. er, and I've I've, it's terrible, I've got a Monster Mob, you know, baseball cap, signed by him. M608: uh-huh M642: And he's now going over to Yamaha, for what might be his last season ever. He's won something like eh eight Isle of Man TTs. M608: Yeah. M642: And he's a r- nice guy. M608: mmhm M642: He really is. See the, see the Formula One guys; they're so precious, //and they've got// M608: //uh-huh// M642: their [?]jail[/?] round them; nobody gets near them. M608: mmhm M642: The motorcycle boys - you can go up and chin-wag with them. //You can talk// M608: //mmhm and it// M642: away. M608: I mean I know nothing about Stevie Hislop; is he local? M642: eh not Dumfries. //erm// M608: //[inaudible]// F643: Dalbeattie. M642: Dalbeattie. //Yeah.// F643: //mmhm// M608: //mmhm// mm M642: Yep. F643: Where did that come from? I must have retained that from one of your diatribes before. [laugh] //[laugh]// M642: //Aye.// //But they're great guys.// M608: //Aye, [inaudible]// M642: As I say, he's had a broken neck and eh they live right at the edge of life. M608: Yeah. M642: And erm, and yet, if you want to have a wee blether with him, M608: mmhm M642: they'll chin-wag away. //I've got// M608: //mmhm// M642: Jim Moodie's photograph upstairs, and autograph in a book. And Jim Moodie won the Isle of Man er TT about six times. //And// M608: //mmhm// M642: er, one of Norry Limburn's riders. F643: mmhm M642: And again another superb guy. Ian Simpson, another guy whose autograph I've got, met at rugby club, again one of Norry's boys. And erm, he shattered a leg, M608: mm M642: about six years ago, made a comeback, and he won the Isle of Man senior TT, on Honda's fiftieth anniversary, for Honda. M608: mmhm M642: And he was God for Honda. The next year, he had about two races, he broke his leg again, and remember we were at the club, //and I was// F643: //Aye, uh-huh// M642: askin about him. And again a lovely guy, Ian Simpson, Jim Moodie's a Glasgow guy, Ian Simpson's from about Dalbeattie way as well. And, er, fractured bone fragments got into his blood-system. M608: ouch aye. M642: And, remember he said, //I mean// F643: //[cough]// M642: it was terrible. He was on traction, with a shattered, the second l- time the leg had been shattered, and eh it was about a fortnight before they could operate on it, to try and recover //the leg.// M608: //mm// M642: And it was touch and go whether it would be amputated. M608: oh really. M642: And also, they were shitting themselves; the debris would travel up //in his blood-system// M608: //[inaudible]// F643: mmhm M642: And //cause a major blockage and and// M608: //[inaudible] uh-huh// M642: kill him. And he came through that, and managed to live through it, and, er mind you I've never heard from Norry what he's doing now, M608: mmhm M642: but I think Honda gave him a big payoff. M608: hm M642: A lot of money. M608: mmhm M642: But, I mean it's what these guys do. M608: Yeah. Have you ever raced, yourself, or is it //you're just interested in the bikes?// M642: //No, no.// I just ride on a bike, and I I love it and I scare myself at the same time. F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F643: And what's the //different bikes// M642: //[inaudible]// F643: you got again; I cannae remember what they all are. M642: I've got, I had, I started off, a- eh, about fifteen years ago, my mate Peter and I got back into classic, old bikes. M608: mmhm M642: And, eh, he arrived at the door with a Tiger Cub from about nineteen sixty-three. And I went "ye bugger, we've talked about this for so long". And I knew that a neighbour out in Prestwick has a 500cc BSA. And I went back and he still had it and I bought it off him, and restored it. M608: mmhm When was this? M642: eh [exhale], twelve, thirteen years //ago.// M608: //mmhm// M642: And we set up the Ayr Classic Motorcycle Club. //And then// M608: //oh right.// M642: we started the Ayr Classic, the Scottish Classic Bike Show. And this still goes on, and I organise it; I was organising secretary for about six years. M608: mmhm M642: And we we had probably about a hundred and twenty, or so entrants, who came from as far afield as middle Ireland, middle England, M608: mmhm M642: right up to Aberdeen, and we had it in [?]Dampark Hall[/?]. M608: Okay. M642: And, it was a great show, //it was really really good,// M608: //mm// M642: great fun, and being there at the start and organisin //and settin it up,// M608: //Yeah.// M642: Excellent. And, er, I bought two or three more bikes; Peter did the same. And I ended up with five classic bikes. I had a a nineteen fifty-two Matchless, I had a nineteen fifty-eight BSA, which was the first one, I had a nineteen f-f-f- fifty-nine Triumph T21, M608: mmhm M642: 350 s- twin, I had a nineteen sixty-eight Triumph Tiger 100 SS 500 twin, M608: mmhm M642: I had a nineteen seventy-eight Triumph Bonneville 750. [inhale] And, eh, Peter had a mass of bikes as well, when he he got, he, oh, for various reasons, eh, marriage split, divorce, went down to [CENSORED: placename], //he// M608: //mm// M642: got rid of some stuff, and all the rest of it. I'd to cut to the chase, now I, I sold off st- some stuff and what I've got not is, I've still got the old BSA, the fifty-eight BSA, I've got the sixty-seven, sixty-eight, Triumph Tiger 100, //And I've// M608: //mmhm// M642: still got the Bonneville. F643: mmhm M642: //[inaudible] Bonneville.// M608: //[inaudible] bikes?// F643: Right, //uh-huh// M642: //And I// sold the //I sold// M608: //oh aye.// M642: the T21 and the Matchless, which was a rust-bucket needing restored. And eh, I bought a Honda Deauville. //Two-bit shaft drive, it's like a Rolls Roy-, aye.// F643: //It's like driving around in an armchair; it's unbelievable.// M642: But the poor man's Rolls Royce, eh, it's a 650, V-twin, shaft-drive, electric start, F643: You're talking in tongues now. M642: Yeah, gorgeous. F643: //[laugh]// M608: //erm, I I I// I'm impressed with //[?]your understanding.[/?]// F643: //It's red and shiny.// //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: Put it like this; at the start of the summer holidays last year, I went through to Knockhill, M608: mm M642: on the Friday afternoon, I got there, spent an hour and a half there, I got back on the bike, I was at South Queensferry, and an hour and twenty minutes later, I was back in Ayr, I parked the bike, got my football kit, went out to the Old Racecourse Hotel, and the staff-punters eh football match was on and I played half an hour. F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: //And then we'd a barbie, and there we'd a// F643: //And then you fell down, [laugh]// M642: barbecue. //Now,// M608: //So,// M642: on the Bonneville, I could never have done that. M608: mm F643: The Bonneville was the first one I ever went out //on.// M642: //It's a// a lovely bike, and the sound, //oh what's the sound like?// F643: //oh it's got an, oh it's like a roar.// //mmhm// M642: //eh// F643: Cause I'd never been on a motorbike before, and I was absolutely terrified at the thought of it, and, erm, you know, [CENSORED: forename] was determined I was going to get over this fear. And he said, "oh I'll just take you round the block", and the block ended up being, you know, a ten-mile //stretch: [laugh] Coylton and everything// M642: //Coylton and round about// F643: But I, it was once I got on the thing, I couldn't believe it, it was, like, fantastic feeling. M608: uh-huh F643: erm, the pr-, the problem is the Bonneville's very b- bumpy. //So it// M608: //mm// F643: rattles all up your spine and everything, but the the Deauville, the the pillion pass-, passenger sits above the driver and you get an awful lot of backdraft. M608: Right. F643: So if you've actually got, at the time I had quite a bad neck, it really, M642: And you remember we hit that //big eh hole on Racecourse, eh, Road.// F643: //[inaudible] oh, we hit a bump, oh, the bump// It does rea- readjust your spinal column, //kind of bump.// M608: //oh right.// F643: Cause you go over it, and it mm [laugh]. //[laugh]// M608: //But you used to go up to// Knockhill? M642: oh aye. M608: Aye, and would you drive round the circuit there? F643: No, //no no, just,// M642: //oh no, no no, I'm// //too old for that nonsense,// M608: //oh right.// M642: no, no, no. F643: he just, aye. M642: But I I, eh John [CENSORED: surname] and I, my two outings a year, my main outings are, though I'd love to go abroad, M608: mmhm M642: erm, it is er, over to the North West at Portrush. M608: mmhm M642: And what they have there is, erm it's like a ten-mile triangular circuit, between Portrush, Portstewart and Port-, and eh, eh, Carrick, ca-ca-ca, Portrush, Portstewart and F643: Carrick something? No. M642: It's not [?]Carrickfers[/?] Anyway, it's a triangular route, M608: mmhm M642: and they can get up to, the racers get up to about a hundred and seventy mile an hour in the streets. F643: And it's just normal roads that are kind of //abandoned.// M642: //Aye,// //yeah, and they shut// M608: //oh right, right.// M642: the roads, f-f-f- for the day. And, aw, what was I like? //I'd my mobile on me; I phoned// F643: //Aye [inaudible] God he phoned me, he phoned me.// M642: Louise, //We had, what we// F643: //Listen to this!// //Vroom! [laugh]// M642: //did,// M608: //[laugh]// M642: //what we did// F643: //[laugh]// M642: was, this year, F643: [laugh] M642: we got there, and, within that big triangle, there's little country lanes. And we were told by one of the old stewards, "take your bike in there, and move about in the course of the day on your bike, and get to different points in the circuit". [inhale] And so we thought, "we'll do it this year", and it was drizzly, yucky day. But anyway, we went in and we set the bike doon, and we went on to the coast area, which is the top of the triangle, the top flat. As I say, there's Portrush, Portstewart, and then, Coleraine! F643: oh Coleraine, uh-huh M642: Down here, the bottom of the triangle. And, eh, these guys were going round, and they've got a helicopter which goes round filming, because, and they've got film crews all round, cause this is crazy, I could show you two years ago the video footage. And this is scary stuff, I say a hundred and seventy mile an hour, on, basically, the road to er Minishant. //Yeah.// M608: //Yeah.// M642: Except, it's no as straight as that. F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: //And, er,// F643: //[laugh]// M642: you know they're doing all this stuff. And eh, we're moving around within this. And eh, comin out, in the afternoon it dried out a bit. And we had gone up the road, and we had, erm, across the road at the outskirts of eh Portstewart, there was a wee mini-market. And we went across and we got some beers to take back to our hotel. And a couple of bits and pieces. So, we thought, we haven't had anything to drink, and we've got our bikes in here, we will have a can of beer. So we're behind this, look upon it like this, I am standing here leaning on the fencepost of a field. M608: mmhm M642: And here the pavement starts. M608: mmhm M642: And where the end of the the room is, M608: mm M642: is where the pavement stops, and beyond that are the motorbikes, F641: [cough] M642: and they're comin up, and they're goin th-, come up, uphill, round a wee chicane of a roundabout, and they're accelerating. And they're going by us about a hundred and thirty miles an hour, [inhale] which is where the fire is. //[inaudible]// F643: //[laugh]// M608: Did you go deaf? F643: That was incredibly loud. M642: The helicopters are going round filming for the video of the north west, for the [?]year[/?]. And so it's like a finger pointing from the sky, in the triangle. You know where the leading //riders are,// M608: //Of course, aye.// M642: as it's going round. So you're waiting for them coming. So I'd dialled up on the mobile, and I got Louise on the //mobile, and I'm saying// M608: //[laugh]// M642: "It's great, the sun's just come out, it's nice and dry, it's absolutely lovely, and, by the way, the bikes are just coming by, hang on a minute, and you'll get an idea of why //I'm here",// F643: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// M642: //And I reached out// over the fence, which was to about here, and therefore //we're only// F643: //[laugh]// M642: six or seven feet away from the bikes going by. M608: [laugh] M642: //And the noise was just// F643: //[inaudible] jumped out of my skin; it was incredible. [laugh]// //[laugh]// M642: //as these// things, they're accelerating up that hill, and they're going by us about a hundred and thirty miles an hour, and as they're going along the straight before the next bend, they're up to about a hundred and sixty. F643: hm M642: And it's just, they're aff their heids! M608: [laugh] M642: //[?]there[/?]// F643: //[laugh]// M642: Is that an Ayrshire //expression? But they are// M608: //That is an ish-, an Ayrshire expression.// M642: totally aff their heids. F643: [laugh] M642: They are guys who have lost the plot. [inhale] And the number of people who get killed, it's amazing. F643: Yeah. Probably passers-by at that speed as well. M642: when-, where we were, when I I put the phone out for Louise, it runs down and then there's a wee kick, that way [gesture]. M608: mmhm M642: And there's a a a road come out, and we were standing there watching these bikes comin down, and go round, and you thought it was pretty straight, M608: mmhm M642: but when we were up there, it was a big bend, you know they just went round it, and there were a couple of guys standing there, said "you should have been here seven years ago", [inhale] what happened was, a guy came down, and there's a kerb on the far side, and they're trying to get as close to it as they can, M608: mmhm M642: to shallow out the corner. And he got in so tight, the wheel kicked //up on// F643: //[click]// M642: to the kerbing, F643: oh my God, that's terrible. M642: And what happened was this: as he came round and the wheel went onto the kerbing, he come out the saddle. And he lost his grip with his right hand. M608: Dear God. M642: And he was holding onto the the handlebar with his left - he did Superman! M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// M642: //And he went along// And M608: No! M642: the wheel ran along the kerb, and the bike was at like forty-five degrees, F643: mmhm M642: and he's like this, and he's doin about a hundred and forty miles an hour. F643: [inaudible] M642: //And, what happened,// M608: //You'll believe a man can fly! [laugh]// M642: was //the// F643: //[inaudible]// M642: bike came down off it, and got vertical again, and jumped him up, and he ended up back in the saddle of the bike. //And he caught on again, and lived, and went on.// F643: //oh that's got to be a legend, [laugh] the legend of the flying motorcyclist, [laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// F643: [inhale] M642: And that's seemingly what was ha- //No, no, no, th-, the two the they// F643: //Och ye, away, it was a couple of old Irish guys tellin you porkies! [laugh]// M642: they named the guy. //And they said, they just, you you honestly wouldn't// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh] well, that's true then! [laugh]// M642: have believed that. //that, and the roundabout [inaudible]// F643: //[laugh] who's now dead, so cannot provide [inaudible] evidence.// //[laugh]// M642: //Now,// M608: Were you saying this happened more than once, or was this one //guy?// M642: //oh no.// this was just this one //guy, and this again,// F643: //[laugh]// M642: Jim Moodie again, see the guy, I've got his //pictures// M608: //mmhm// M642: and autographs upstairs, Jim, last year, was riding round, and he came off at a roundabout, somewhere out on the course. And, eh, he was in second place at the time, and they've got a tannoy, M608: mmhm M642: all the way round, givin you an update on what's goin on. [inhale] And, we all, all we heard was this patter, "eh right, so and so and so and so, Jim Moodie's not up there in the front, eh, what's happened to him, we don't know, we'll let you know, and eh he's come off at such and such roundabout." erm, right, we'll we'll let you know what's happened, erm, and a couple of minutes later it was, "He's okay, erm, what's happened is, er, he just tops- er top-sided, but very gently, and, er, he came off, and he's now sitting with the spectators, and one of them's loaned him his mobile phone, he's phoned his wife back in the pits to say he's okay, and someone else has given him a cigarette." F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: That's not Grand Prix. M608: //[laugh] No, it's not.// F641: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// M642: //Yeah, but that's, that was the patter, Jim's okay,// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: he's I //suspect he was given the mobile to let the wife know he's okay, and// F643: //having a fag and a chat with his missus [laugh]// M642: someone else has gien him a fag, so, forget it. And that's, that is still racing at the cutting //edge, that's// M608: //Aye, aye.// M642: //That, that's amazin.// F643: //Aye, but I mean,// one, one of the things you you often see is when the the guys come back, cause they quite often now get the the ferry to Troon, and the the it's when the the the //door opens on the ferry, and there was just like whoa, Hell's Angels appear! [laugh]// M642: //[inhale] [click], a hundred.// A hundred and fifty bikes, M608: Aye. M642: down in the shell, a metal shell, of the //of the car// M608: //[?]I bet[/?]// M642: deck, and everybody opens up. F643: [laugh] M642: Everybody starts up their bikes. //And oh dear and every year,// F643: //The people at the back [laugh], suffocating I would imagine!// M642: there's all these people, are lined up on the er, you know, the jetty, M608: uh-huh M642: to see all these bikes comin off. F643: [laugh] M642: And really, I'll tell you, a buzz, M608: Yeah. M642: I mean, my bike it's a woose, it's got no, it's just a a shaft-drive cruisin bike: the Bonny was good. //oh, you ripped it,// F643: //oh, it was good, [inaudible]// M642: and it's it it's like //it's like// F643: //[cough]// M642: Bugatis, But, eh, last year when I went over on the the Deauville, oh and by the way, terrible M608: [laugh] M642: when we landed in Dublin, eh sorry, eh //Belfast,// F643: //Docked?// //Docked?// M608: //Right.// M642: in Belfast, F643: You landed? M642: erm F643: Did you fly? M642: We landed in the ferry, F643: //Okay.// M608: //Okay.// M642: on the quay, //[inaudible] that's// F643: //[laugh]// M642: us landing. F643: //Thought I'd missed something somewhere.// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: Aye. We landed with the bikes, and you've got a high ramp; at eh Troon, it's low stuff. M608: mmhmm M642: At Belfast you've got to climb up and out. M608: oh right. M642: I stalled on //the way down.// F643: //aw!// M608: //oh no!// //[laugh]// F643: //[laugh] Make you look like a wee old fart,// //[inaudible] [laugh]// M642: //I'm going up like// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: stall half-way up the f-fu- //because, what's happenin there's you've got about// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: five rows //of bikers coming, you know, one, two, three, four, five,// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: and everybody's trying to get their wee space to go up. M608: Aye. M642: //And you're you're feathering the clutch, and that and you're goin// F643: //[laugh]// M642: [makes noise of clutch] and then I got my turn, and as I started to open, it went 'Dunk'! F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: There's a hundred bikers //behind me, and// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: guess what they're saying. F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: Stupid old //bastard should not be bikin at his// M608: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// M642: //age.// F643: //No!// //[inaudible] [laugh]// M642: //And they went [makes noise of motorbikes revving] and,// M608: //[laugh]// M642: luckily, F643: Menopausal //man on a bike.// M642: //And we're on, I'm// //on a slope and a// M608: //[laugh]// M642: ramp like that, F643: //[laugh]// M608: //huh aye.// M642: I don't want to start roll back M608: oh God, //no.// M642: //Don't want to// start ro-, credibility is like, you know, [expels air through teeth] F643: But that was, I mean, what about that other time, the erm the Old Bridge incident [laugh]? M642: aw //Here's another one, on the Bonneville,// F643: //This was, [laugh]// //This is why,// M642: //Down at// F643: this is why when you get be another ten or twelve years older, John, do not get a desire for a motorbike. //[laugh]// M642: //Bikes are awfa heavy,// F641: //[laugh]// M642: //the the Deauville,// M608: //No, I I need stabilisers.// M642: the Deauville is two hundred and twenty kilos. //Dead weight.// F643: //I don't know what that means in pounds; what does that mean in pounds?// M642: Can I swear? Fuckin heavy. //Aye. Two hundred and twenty kilos,// F643: //Right, okay, for a wee fellow like yoursel, [inaudible] kilos.// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: is about four hundred and fifty //pounds.// F643: //Ouch.// //That's heavy, uh-huh.// F641: //Yeah.// M642: Right. So, when you're movin, no problem. F643: mmhm M642: When you're trying to put it up on a stand, down off a stand, move away slowly, F643: It's too big for you. //[laugh]// M642: //They're all too big for me, and then I die, then I die, I don't care, I don't care.// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: They can all be too //big for me, I'd, no I'd, aye exactly, a moped.// F643: //You need a wee bike, [laugh]// //[laugh]// M642: //So, anyway,// F641: //[laugh]// F643: [exhale] M642: What was the stor-? //oh the the bridge,// F643: //oh aye the br- bridge// //incident.// M642: //the// M608: //The bridge.// M642: Bonneville is only maybe, F643: [laugh] M642: about, oh, thirty or forty pounds lighter. So, I've been out with John [CENSORED: surname], we go on a a run away up round Straiton, Nick of the Balloch, down towards Barr. M608: mmhm M642: And when you get into Barr, you've got the wee road along the burn, and then you've got a a wee hump-back bridge over the burn, M608: mmhm M642: to carry on towards Girvan. So, we're riding along, very cool, dude, cruisin along, he's got his BMW. He does a lot of all-year miles; I don't. So he's very relaxed on his bike. We're travelling along, beside the burn, before making a left over the the hump-back bridge. I notice Liz [CENSORED: surname], her husband, sitting at a picnic bench, F643: [laugh] M642: in the middle of the, the village, beside the burn, M608: As you do. M642: and their kids are obviously playing about in the burn, middle of summer. So, we're going by, and I go, "Hey, there they are", so I go 'Toot toot' on my horn, wave, And, we then go on to the hump-back bridge. So, I give another wave as I'm going over //the bridge.// M608: //[laugh]// M642: John's gone ahead of me. And I've slowed down, because I'm thinking, "might go back and have a a wee hello", M608: mmhm M642: talk with them, [inhale]. Now, I'm up there and I'm just on the top, and I wave, and I'm down to no revs. The bike stalls. So you think, the bridge parapet, you okay with that? //The, the [inaudible]// F643: //mmhm sure.// M642: Is that high: I'm there on the bike. I am waving like this, with one hand still on the throttle. Really r- low revs going over the hump. I g- open the throttle again, and the bike dies on me. M608: mm M642: Right? M608: mmhm M642: Suddenly I'm //going this way// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //oh no.// //[laugh]// F643: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: The parapet is there; I am waving to my friends, //I disappear [laugh] below the front.// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //I- disappear [laugh]// //[laugh]// M642: //[laugh]// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: //[laugh]// F643: //You're not exactly Mr Cool on a bike.// //[laugh]// M642: //oh no.// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// F643: oh I don't know. M642: I did the same last year. Now the Deauville, lovely bike. And, we had gone from eh, Keswick, onto the motorway, down about thirty miles, in atrocious weather. M608: mmhm M642: Pissing rain, galeforce wind. This is not biking that I want to do. And then we take a left, cause we're going down south, into North Yorkshire. M608: mmhm M642: [inhale] And we then have a lovely afternoon, The rain stops, still cloudy, but we're on beautiful roads, and we go all over the place. And we're goin up this valley, and at one point Peter's ahead of me; he's got a VFR Honda, which is like a sports roadster, and it can do about a hundred and fifty miles an hour; my //machine// M608: //mm// M642: can only do about a hundred and twenty. //And eh, he's// F643: //Not that you should be doing that anyway.// M642: No, no we don't do that; Peter never gets near that either. But it's the VFR I've been on it; lovely bike. But you're like a jockey on it. M608: mmhm M642: And that's no use for me with my back: I want to be //a bit more relaxed.// F643: //In an armchair?// //[laugh] [inaudible] armchair [laugh]// M642: //In my armchair. So we're going along, and at one point, you know, and we signalled.// back and forwards, and he's in front of me, and I see him, his legs comin up, //and that and I'm goin// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: Well, you do that, see when you're on a bike for a while. //erm, you don't know this.// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// [inaudible] //[laugh]// M642: //But, what you do is,// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //Actually, Augusta does.// F641: I do. M642: You actually //ride? Right.// M608: //She's the biker in the family.// M642: You you'll shake //legs, you know,// F641: //You do, yeah, uh-huh// M642: that kind of stuff. And so Peter does this. F641: [?]okay[/?], erm M642: And I'm goin, aw, why? M608: Thanks. M642: Then the next thing. F641: Do you want [inaudible] M642: I'm up out the saddle. //There was a wee hump on the road,// F643: //[laugh]// uh-huh M642: and I'm up out the thing, and, I went, well, he actually, his lighter bike went right up so high, that it increased revs. You know the revs increase, M608: uh-huh M642: because the total bike was off the deck. All that happened with me was, I came up off my bike because it's a heavier bike. And I started laughing //[inaudible] helmet, it was aw it was// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: cause I didn't realise, it, it was like being on a, you know, a rollercoaster, M608: //uh-huh// F641: //mmhm// M642: and not expectin it. And I was right out the saddle, and I was only holdin on. And, er, okay, and so we're going round like this, and it was it was absolutely tremendous. F643: [laugh] M642: //er// F641: //[laugh]// M642: doin this run. Well, we came back, through very rainy weather again into the Lake District, and I went round the side of this lake. And, the lake's down here, the hillside's comin down, lot of water on the road. And Peter said, "You go ahead", and I'm going back and forwards, up down, round about, And I'm going "I'm not used to wet roads", and, in actual fact, I've never done this before, I t- went over at one point on a bend, in wet, and I scuffed the outside of my boot, F643: //mmhm// M608: //mmhm// M642: as I went over. I'm too old for that, I //I'm not interested in that.// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //mm// M642: And, [exhale] //and// M608: //mm// M642: we had a great time, Hundred and fifty mile run. Came back into Keswick, outskirts of Keswick, petrol station, filled up, hundred yards down the road, turned off the main road left, and our bed and breakfast hotel was in the wee back street. M608: Right. M642: And what we had to do was, we went along th- this first back street and came to a crossroads, and our hotel was up on the right. So Peter's in front of me, and we're just 'chug chug chug', full tank of petrol, end of the day, psycho stuff. I've been out the saddle, I have scuffed my boots, M608: mmhm M642: I've, I'd been in rain, heavy winds, all the rest of it, and we're back in this lovely calm. And, in the garage when we topped up, there was this big Harley club. There was about thirty bikes or so, and they said they'd gone further north than us, and it had just rained solid, M608: mm M642: been total crap, and we went, "we've been lucky, we've been in the right place". So, Peter comes to this junction, does a loop right left, nothing around, cars parked everywhere in the wee back street, makes the right turn. [CENSORED: forename]'s behind him, stands up on the footpegs, to look over the parked cars, stands up, like this, you know, his arm up there, and I'm goin, "nothin, nothin, nothin", turn, open the throttle, F643: [laugh] M642: and the bike stalls. F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: Chug, chug, chug, dunk! F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: And I'm up here. F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// F643: //What, on your tiptoes on the pedal?// M608: //[laugh]// M642: And for a moment, I'm standing on the the footpegs, F643: //[laugh]// F641: //[inaudible]// M642: //I now// M608: //[inaudible]// M642: go, 'RRRRR //RRRR'// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: And I put my foot down. Now there's that between //the// F643: //uh-huh// M642: ground and the footpeg, So I'm waiting to hit the ground. And I do. And I've got, you know, two hundred kilos //of bike plus a// M608: //Of bike, aye,// M642: a full load of petrol, //cause I've just filled up,// F643: //oh right.// M608: //[inaudible] aye.// F641: //Plus yourself.// M642: and my leg's goin //er, er, er,// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: No, //and I just// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: keep goin and goin an goin. And down I went, clunk! And there's a a //lassie walking [inaudible]// F643: //[?]in[/?], he d- he disnae learn.// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: There's a lassie walkin along the road, one of the locals. And I'm down //'Daaaa', here,// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// M642: //"Hello, dear, how are you?"// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: And erm, she said "Are you alright?" //Yes, I'm alright.// M608: //[laugh]// M642: And //eh, so I// F643: //[?]so it it in[/?]// M642: get to the bike, and it's now totally full of petrol and the breather, the br- wee breather, eh, tube, M608: mmhm M642: is leaking petrol because it's //got// F641: //Too full.// M642: four and a half, five gallons of petrol in the tank, M608: mm M642: and of course you're just seein this swim of petrol //over the// M608: //Yeah.// M642: load the road. And I went, oh no no no no. And, so I'm trying to lift the bike up and I can't; it's just too bloody heavy. M608: Aye. M642: And this girl's goin, "are you sure you're alright?", and I'm goin, "oh F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: fuck off! //Fuck off! Or help me// M608: //[laugh]// M642: lift the bike up! er, but luckily Peter had happened just to kind of //I don't// M608: //[?]look round[/?]// M642: know, he just kind of looked back in his mirror and he saw me goin down. So he came back and the two of us, now there there there must have been no more than a quarter of a pint of petrol come out the bike, and the bike has plastic outriggers, and //behind// F641: //mmhm// M642: outriggers are like inch steel F641: mmhm M642: rods, //that// M608: //mmhm// M642: they come out like that and then look back, M608: //mmhm// F641: //mmhm// M642: so it's just like a couple of flippers, M608: //Yeah.// F641: //mmhm// M642: and the bike just went 'dunk' and sat. M608: //Yeah.// F641: //mmhm// M642: And the only damage is a couple of scrapes on these plastic outriggers, M608: mmhm M642: which cost about twelve quid. F643: //mmhm// F641: //mmhm// M608: Yeah. M642: And, it's okay, I'll maybe renew //eventually,// M608: //mmhm// M642: But, oh, embarrassment! F641: [laugh] //[inaudible]// F643: //But you do that on a regular basis.// F641: Priceless. M608: Priceless, yes, M642: //What? What?// F641: //I bet [inaudible] the price.// F643: You give it a n- a wee, you go out there, and that, and then you wonder why I'm kind of nervous about coming out with you, you cannae even lift the blooming thing up. M642: The only //I// F643: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: have, right hold on, I'll tell you, I have had F643: No, don't touch wood, don't tell me about anything to do //with accidents,// M642: //No.// F643: that's bad karma. M642: One in Ireland, again it was from a standing stop. //Trying to make// F643: //So what [?]I hide is[/?]// M642: a turn, on a bad bit of road, And I was, I was from stationary, going to move away and there was a car coming and I stopped, and I put my foot down and there was a bloody pot-hole. F643: //Ach!// M608: //Right.// F643: Right, okay. //[laugh]// M642: //No miles an hour.// F641: //[laugh]// M642: That's the one. There was another one at [?]Kilkirn[/?], That's two. F643: uh-huh M642: And again that was on the upslope, F643: Right. M642: on a wee quiet country road, tryin to make a right turn. F643: uh-huh, uh-huh. M642: Right, and the third time is the one I'm tellin you about. F643: Right. M642: And that's in about, of the modern bikes, the last five years, and that's in five years, that's three times, and it's all been from stationary. F643: Right, okay sir! //I won't, I won't be terrified then.// M642: //Totally stationary.// There is absolutely no problem when moving. F643: uh-huh M642: //It's just a [inaudible]// M608: //Apart from the scuffing, apart from the scuffing of the boot.// F641: //So the trick is?// M642: oh aye, that //was seriously, that was,// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// //Right, [laugh]// M642: //Aye, that was great biking, no that was, that was,// I went oh //I'm not supposed to do// F643: //[CENSORED: forename], you're somebody// I mean that, er [CENSORED: forename] does like this kind of mental motorcycling stuff, and then he does, speed, speed, speed, and then he does skiing. Cause you do all this demented skiing stuff as well though, it's //quite scary as well.// M608: //You're an ex- you an// extreme sportsman. F643: uh-huh M642: Yeah, I'm just past my sell-by date. //[inaudible]// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: Yeah, I like, I like eh the notion of, the thing, the th- the only, the thing I like about skiing is, normally, if I've gonna have a tomba - that's an expression we use - F643: A tomba? M608: Which means? F643: A tumble? M642: What, you don't know about Tomba? He was the French ski champion. F643: Okay. M642: Except we call a tomba, it's a a fall doon. F643: oh right, a fall //doon?// M642: //Aye, it's just// //okay,// M608: //mm// M642: it's just silly stuff. But, aye, if I have a tomba, it's because I'm responsible for me. Whereas on the bike, there are other circumstances //that// F643: //mmhm// M642: //could eh// M608: //mm// M642: erm, prevail, which is other people. M608: Yeah. F643: Aye, mmhm M642: erm, I don't have a problem about me on my bike. I'm always looking to cars, //and other stuff around me,// F643: //uh-huh// M608: //mm// M642: whereas normally on the ski-slope it's me being psycho, and if I've a fall, it's me to blame. M608: mm M642: So it's easier, skiing's easier. M608: mm M642: oh but I love, I love the, aye I love it. F643: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M608: What age did you start skiing? M642: I was at Jordanhill. I did three or four years. Then I gave it all up, just for my rugby. //Then I went// M608: //mm// M642: back it about, what, ten years ago? F643: mmhm mmhm M608: Did you start in Scotland; was it Aviemore //and places like that, aye?// M642: //oh aye, aye.// M608: Was it dry-ski sloping, or M642: er, no, we went to Jor-, eh through Jordanhill we went to Aviemore in the second year. M608: mmhm M642: And some of the guys in our year hated it, and I loved it. M608: mmhm M642: And then I went to Glenmore Lodge as a teacher with kids from [CENSORED: placename]. And, erm, carried it on as I say for three or four years, once I qualified. And then because of my rugby commitment, never went back to it. M608: mm M642: But, oh, skiing is, I c-, I could have I could have been good. I could have been, eh, you know, I reckon, a pretty good, reasonable, high-level [inaudible] instructor. I made a [exhale] I made a bad choice, but it was a great choice. I've got a lot of friends through rugby. eh //Yeah.// F643: //You've got a lot of erm// I don't know. //Joiners and plumbers and electricians, [laugh] and,// M642: //[inaudible] aye [inaudible]// //contacts, friends, I've had some great social// F643: //[laugh]// M642: times through //rugby,// M608: //mmhm// M642: But, I got so involved in my rugby that eh the skiing didn't have a place. M608: mm M642: And I only came back to it really after I I gave up rugby and marathon running and all that nonsense. M608: Yeah, you did marathon running as well? M642: Yeah. M608: Do the Glasgow marathon? M642: Yep. I've got the video if you wanna //watch it.// F643: //No,// we don't want to watch it. [laugh] I'm sorry to be so //oh horrified, but I have watched// M642: //Jimmy Saville, yeah.// F643: erm a video of a marathon before and it's just, snooze material. //[laugh]// M642: //Somewhere in the archive material, I've// got, I've got video of from when I actually did the national television stuff. M608: mmhm M642: And, eh, there's me and Jimmy Saville running breast to breast. M608: Aye, that must be kind of interesting. //That was before,// M642: //I hated// M608: that was before Louis Theroux? M642: I hated I hated Jimmy Saville because F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: everybody everybody //it was// M608: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// M642: //was it the second time I did it?// F643: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: Everybody shouting, "Come on Jimmy, come on Jimmy", and I'm going, "Fuck Jimmy, what about [CENSORED: forename]?" //"Gie [CENSORED: forename] a shout!"// F643: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// M642: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: "Who gives a shit about Jimmy?" //I'm your local hero.// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: And eh, he used to have minders that actually picked up his water for him at the water stations. He never even actually had to deviate off his course to go and get his water bottle. M608: That's shocking. M642: Yeah. M608: I don't think the public knows that. //[laugh]// M642: //I mean, I have, I. Listen! I have it on video.// F643: //[laugh] They do now!// M608: [snort] [laugh] M642: I finished ahead of him, but //the media boys// F643: //Did you really?// M642: Aye, I did, och, give him his due, at his age, he, you know, he did, he's done about fifty or sixty //marathons.// F643: //mmhm// M642: He done a hell of a lot of them. M608: mm M642: But, we came into the final shoot, and it was Scotts' porage oats were the //eh, the big sponsors.// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //sponsors?// M642: So, they suddenly pushed this porridge in front of Jimmy, //as he came in,// M608: //[laugh]// M642: //Right? And there I am, and they they// F643: //oh, no, just what you don't want at the back of your picture. [laugh]// M642: pulled him through the other gate, and he appeared in front of me. and somewhere around this house, there's a video, and there's [CENSORED: forename] [CENSORED: surname], behind Jimmy Saville, puttin on a face like //Scott's fuckin Porage, you know, at a marathon, who are you kiddin?// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: And there's this look in my face, totally aghast. And Jimmy's going, of course, because obviously he's getting baksheesh, F643: uh-huh M642: goin, "Yeah, ar-ar- //ar".// M608: //[laugh]// M642: And I'm goin "fuckin //[inaudible]".// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: [inaudible] you've never seen that. //But no, it's there somewhere in the archives.// F643: //I haven't seen that, aye, that'll be a treat for another night oh Lord.// M642: And it's [CENSORED: forename], behind Jimmy Saville in the the finish-gate, //[?]I am[/?]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: oh //no.// M608: //And this was// shown on national television? M642: Yeah! oh no, you //don't want to be doin that.// F643: //I mean, see, the thing is, Joe Public// would just have thought that you were grimacing in the pain of having run twenty-six point whatever it is miles. M642: Aye. I was grimacing at the thought of tryin to take a spoonful of //Scott's Porage Oats, [laugh] [?]or anything like that[/?]. [laugh]// F643: //oh I know [laugh]// M642: So, F643: mmhm M642: But, eh, no that was, the marathon running was probably the worst thing I did. F643: Aye, does it not knacker your knees and your achilles? M642: Spine. F643: Spine? M642: //Spine [inaudible]// M608: //Did you ever hit the Wall?// M642: oh aye. M608: What was that like? M642: Sair to bear. F643: [laugh] //[laugh]// M642: //The energy goes;// it really is M608: So how do you keep on when you run? M642: The worst thing that happened was the first year we did it, there was four of us. And I, oh I'm pissed off, and I'm going to have to get the photograph doctored, cause //the guys are really// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F643: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M608: There's something, reality doesn't change if you doctor a photograph. M642: //No, I'll tell you what happened.// F643: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// F643: oh it does! M608: [laugh] F643: Remember Hitler? //[inaudible]// M642: //Aye.// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //There's just no more// //no more frumpy ladies in the photographs, doesn't mean [inaudible]// M642: //No, I tell you, eh this is how bad// I feel about this. F643: mm M642: We ran, and we were the Marine Corps Fitness Club guys, and they took us up F643: [laugh] M642: And, //nobody,// F643: //Fitness and Liar Club!// //[laugh]// M642: //nobody, nobody had done// marathons before, other than, international athletes. And this was the first Glasgow Marathon. And we went out and we did things like, "Well, let's go for a six-mile run". What's a six-mile run like? And we did it. And then we did a ten-mile, and then we did fifteen-mile. And then we did eighteen mile. And eventually, what we did was, F643: [laugh] M642: we changed at the rugby club, //Right?// M608: //Aye.// M642: Y-y-y- you'll probably not know the area. We changed at the rugby club, ran out past Alloway Primary to the Maybole Road, ran up to Digital, M608: mmhm M642: along to Dalrymple, out the back road Dalrymple to the Straiton Road, up to Maybole, and then back in the Maybole High Road to the rugby club. M608: hm M642: And if we felt good, we didn't just go into the rugby club, we went along Long Hill, to Doonfoot, and then along Green Field, back to the rugby club. And one night Peter and I did another lap round the rugby club grounds. Which was //about// F643: //I take it// you werenae gettin sex //in these days?// M642: //It was about aye,// //It was about,// M608: //[laugh]// M642: //twen- twenty-one miles.// F643: //[laugh]// M642: Right? [inhale] So then, the four of us went up to Glasgow, to do the marathon, And, we, we got to about twenty-two, twenty-three miles, and we were knackered. And, we actually, we actually walked for about quarter of a mile. at one point. And then we came into the eh, Glasgow Green area. [inhale] And we ran up this long avenue, and came round a dog leg to the right. and then there was the long straight to the finish, and we st- we jogged along that, and I said to the guys, this is, me, this is what annoys me, I said to the guys, "We started together, we'll finish together". And we had these, what we done was, erm, oh God, John [CENSORED: surname], the New Zealander, was a sub-four minute miler. And there was a a an outfit that were puttin kit out and it was called Sub-Four, M608: mmhm F643: mmhm M642: meaning sub-four F643: mile. //minute miles.// M642: //minute mile.// F643: mmhm M642: and what we'd done was we'd put our tops out, and it was Sub-Four and then in brackets, HRS. F643: For what? M608: Sub-four hours! F643: Hours! oh right, //[laugh]// M642: //Right?// F643: [laugh] God! M642: So we're comin in just after three an a half hours in a marathon, and we've all got these on. And we're jogging up together up this final two hundred metres. And I I had no idea, nobody else knew where the finish was, but you're standing there as a steward, F643: mmhm M642: and there's a finish-gate to the right, there's a finish-gate to the left. As we came up to this, this lassie came towards us, and split us up. And the three went that way, and I went that way. F643: aw M642: Now, we went through the gate, I mean, I, just, you're knackered, you're just, you've got no argument in you. F643: mmhm M642: You just, kind of, this lassie came towards me with day-glo kit and stuff on, and, the guys went that way and I went that way, and we finished, we went through a twin-gate, cause it was a split gate, //got our// M608: //mm// M642: times up, see the next year, second year, the magazine came out, [inhale] and there were one or two wee articles, there were one or two black and white photographs, There was one colour photograph in the middle of that magazine, three guys, //sub-four// F643: //[laugh]// M642: hours, F643: Nae sign of [CENSORED: forename]? M642: Nope. F643: You're a sad old sowl, really, //aren't you?// M608: //You were// following this day-glo lassie? F643: [laugh] //[laugh]// M642: //The three of them there.// F643: [laugh] //[laugh]// M642: //Sub-Four, HRS.// M608: Did you feel resentment at, did you feel any resentment about this? M642: Yeah. F643: Is this something you've carried with you for a //number of years?// M642: //Yeah, oh aye.// //But I, I have got to get// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: //an [inaudible]// M608: //Have you thought about, have you thought about counselling.// M642: //[inaudible]// F643: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: //I've got my// F643: //[laugh]// M642: photograph, of me going through the gate, with the time above my head, same time. and the guys have got their photographs, and what Peter did was, he got in touch with the magazine, //publishers,// F643: //uh-huh// M642: and he got the original photograph, F643: uh-huh M642: not just the magazine photograph. He's got the original photograph, and there's Willie and Kenny and him, F643: mmhm M642: and I'm no there. F643: //aw// M608: //But you could be you// could be put in digitally. F643: Yes. M642: //Well, that's that is really something,// F641: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// F643: //History could be rewritten.// M642: No, that is something //[?]I wouldnae do[/?]// F643: //But how would you nurse// your wrath to keep //it warm in [inaudible]// M642: //I don't care, I don't get,// I don't care even if I'm just a head and shoulders behind them, You know, I //really// M608: //mm// M642: should be in there, I, I was totally pissed off at that, //I was.// M608: //mm// M642: And to be in, they've got the commemorative programme from the next year. F643: //Right.// M608: //oh right.// M642: //In total// F643: //You your claim to// fame was M608: mm M642: And it's the only colour photograph in that, F643: mm The day-glo angel took //you away from it.// M642: //in that magazine.// F643: Aye. M642: And the effort and the energy //that went// M608: //mm// M642: in to that, and that is the one M608: Yeah. M642: one of two or three things in my life that I feel terrible at. F643: //[laugh]// M608: //mm// But when you hit //hit, hit but when you, but when you// F643: //You've had a good life, then, that's all [laugh]// M608: hit the wall, how do you get through that, cause, if I hit, if I if I was close to hitting a wall, I would sit down, I would stop. M642: Well you've got to hit the wall and then you'll find out what you're made of. F643: //What is it?// M608: //mm// F643: Some kind of test of mettle? M642: Your body turns to jelly, honestly. F643: uh-huh, so it's like me having a palpitation attack? M642: //It's like, it's [inaudible]// M608: //It, it's when all the blood-sugar goes, isn't it?// F643: uh-huh M642: Yeah. Aye. F643: oh God. //I get that a lot, [laugh] but I'm just kind of sitting around// M642: //Aye, [inaudible]// F643: the house, [laugh] //[laugh]// M642: //It's like// with sex the second time. F643: //eh?// M608: //Can't be that good.// F643: [laugh] //[laugh]// M642: //No, it's// F641: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //I'd be I'd be running marathons.// //[laugh]// M642: //No, no no.// F643: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: //No, what I mean is, you may f-f-f- fancy your chances at trying a second, but the body's saying nae chance.// F643: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //oh I see.// M642: If you kind of get the drift, it's like erm You know. The mind says "aye", but the body //says// F643: //[laugh]// M642: "nae chance"! //It's// F643: //[laugh]// M642: and just trying to M608: But you carry on? M642: Well, yeah, you do. M608: But I mean, at what point does that happen to you; is it close to the end, or? M642: Well, aye, about eh well, twenty-two, twenty-three miles. They've worked it out; that seems to be the point that all normal energy, readily-ehaccessible sugars, M608: mm M642: //[inaudible]// F643: //But would,// could you prevent hitting the wall, by taking glucose tablets or something like that, before that point, if you were aware you were getting to it? M642: You can try but your metabolism might not accept F643: //Right, mmhm// M608: //mm// M642: because your metabolism, eh, is taking on your kind of normal body eh reserves. F643: uh-huh M642: And, even though you are shipping that stuff in, it might not have the ability, it doesn't //normally have the ability// F643: //oh aye, [inaudible]// M642: to //make use of it.// F641: //For it to process// //it.// F643: //uh-huh// //uh-huh// M608: //mm// M642: Because you've gotten to that stage of crazy total fatigue that it's just saying, ehm, I'm on A Mode, and you're trying to //push in// F643: //mmhm// M642: B. F643: I //suppose it// M642: //And// F643: it must be a point where you won-, I mean that the the the difference between your spirit or your soul, //and the mechanical object you// M642: //Aye, it is.// F643: live in. //must be very apparent, cause it's just no [inaudible]// M642: //It's it, aye, there's a lot of that in it.// We went through the, what's the park where the er the historic, the history museum, what do you call them? F643: Kelvingrove? M642: eh, what do you call, the guy that, all the //[inaudible] pruch-// F643: //oh Burrell?// M642: Burrell! F643: [laugh] //[laugh] [?]what do you mean[/?]// M642: //Right. You've got all these// F643: [?]Pruch![/?] //[laugh]// M642: //Aye, he [?]pruched[/?] them from all over the world.// erm The road humps. M608: oh aye. M642: They're mountains. F643: [laugh] //[laugh]// M642: //Honestly.// F643: [laugh] M642: Anything, anything that creates a problem about linear movement. F643: uh-huh M642: Even if it's every now and then. You've got to step a couple of inches higher. And it kicks in, and it's, it kills you, it really does. But you've got to have done it, I I mean I I cannae, I cannae //actually explain it.// F643: //No it is, it's difficult// //to// M608: //hm// F643: perceive of that degree of M642: Aye. //[inaudible]// F643: //determination, I suppose, or// //[inaudible] [laugh]// M642: //Aye, th- that's what happened.// //I [exhale]// M608: //Especially for me, cause I'm fundamentally lazy.// M642: //That's what actually happens.// F643: //Aye, so am I. [laugh]// //[laugh]// M642: //You// get to a stage where your body says, "The game's a bogie". "Gie up." M608: mm M642: And, eh, the trouble is, there are tens of thousands of people, lining the street. F643: //oh pride!// M608: //Shouting// //shouting// F643: //Pride!// M608: Jimmy Jimmy! //[laugh]// F643: //[laugh]// //[laugh] Aye, but that's// M642: //So I don't I don't I don't// F643: //a normal Glasgow chant, to shout, 'Jimmy, Jimmy'. They could maybe have been cheering you on and you would never have known it.// M608: //[laugh]// M642: //What do you mean, 'Jim'?// F643: //It's 'Hi Jimmy!'// this //and 'Hi Jimmy' that.// M642: //oh I've never// M608: //"Go on yersel, Jimmy".// M642: heard that. F643: //oh you've not lived.// M608: //oh aye.// F643: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //It's a sheltered life there in Stewarton.// M642: //mm// F643: //[laugh]// M642: Honestly. That was amazin. To try and get the last couple of miles. oh and see the first time you go into Glasgow Green. M608: mmhm M642: You've got hundreds of folk lining it. [inhale] And you go into the Green. And there's the avenue. And there's a kick, a dog leg that way. You don't know there's another four hundred yards to go. F643: [laugh] oh no; do you think you're near the end? M642: Everybody's there. And everybody's gathered round, the the entrance here, and you're going "yes, yes, yes", and you're going, and then you go, "oh f-f-f- fuck". F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: //Before, you go away doon there.// F643: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: That's when people died. F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// M642: Kenny, who ran more marathons than the rest of us, and eh, got the fastest time of all; he got down to about three minutes, eight se-, eight minutes. Whereas we were all about, sorry, sorry, three hours three hours eight minutes. F643: //uh-huh// M608: //mm// M642: W-w- a, my fastest was three twenty-six. And, //erm// F643: //[laugh]// For twenty-six miles? M642: Yeah. And, eh //er Kenny,// F643: //No wonder you're knackered.// //[laugh]// M642: //Kenny// did about five, six, seven marathons, got down to that level But see in that one, [laugh] he went over the line and he collapsed, and they put him in a wheelchair and put the wrap //you know the sort of clingfilm wrap on him,// F643: //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// M642: //and wheeled him across.// F643: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// F643: [laugh] M642: He was, total space pilot. //He just, totally [?]lost it[/?].// F643: //[laugh] oh// M608: //[laugh]// F641: //[laugh]// F643: dear. This work is protected by copyright. All rights reserved. The SCOTS Project and the University of Glasgow do not necessarily endorse, support or recommend the views expressed in this document. Information about document and author: Audio Audio audience For gender: Mixed Audience size: 1 Audio awareness & spontaneity Speaker awareness: Aware Degree of spontaneity: Spontaneous Audio footage information Recording person id: 608 Size (min): 56 Size (mb): 218 Audio relationship between recorder/interviewer and speakers Speakers knew each other: Yes Audio transcription information Transcriber id: 718 Year of transcription: 2004 Year material recorded: 2003 Word count: 9868 Audio type Conversation: Participant Participant details Participant id: 608 Gender: Male Decade of birth: 1950 Educational attainment: University Age left school: 17 Upbringing/religious beliefs: Protestantism Occupation: University Professor Place of birth: Ayr Region of birth: S Ayr Birthplace CSD dialect area: Ayr Country of birth: Scotland Place of residence: Bridge of Weir Region of residence: Renfrew Residence CSD dialect area: Renfr Country of residence: Scotland Father's occupation: Insurance Broker Father's place of birth: Auchinleck Father's region of birth: S Ayr Father's birthplace CSD dialect area: Ayr Father's country of birth: Scotland Mother's occupation: Dental Receptionist Mother's place of birth: Ayr Mother's region of birth: S Ayr Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area: Ayr Mother's country of birth: Scotland Languages: Language: English Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: In most everyday situations Language: Portuguese Speak: Yes Read: No Write: No Understand: Yes Circumstances: When trying to communicate with my in-laws Language: Scots Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: In domestic/activist circles; reading literature Participant Participant details Participant id: 641 Participant Participant details Participant id: 642 Gender: Male Decade of birth: 1940 Educational attainment: College Age left school: 18 Upbringing/religious beliefs: Protestantism Occupation: Teacher Place of birth: Ayr Region of birth: S Ayr Birthplace CSD dialect area: Ayr Country of birth: Scotland Place of residence: Ayr Region of residence: S Ayr Residence CSD dialect area: Ayr Country of residence: Scotland Father's occupation: Motor engineer Father's place of birth: Ayr Father's region of birth: S Ayr Father's birthplace CSD dialect area: Ayr Father's country of birth: Scotland Mother's place of birth: Colmonell Mother's region of birth: S Ayr Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area: Ayr Mother's country of birth: Scotland Languages: Language: English Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: Daily Participant Participant details Participant id: 643 Gender: Female Decade of birth: 1960 Educational attainment: University Age left school: 17 Upbringing/religious beliefs: mix of protestantism and catholicism Occupation: unemployed Place of birth: Irvine Region of birth: S Ayr Birthplace CSD dialect area: Ayr Country of birth: Scotland Region of residence: S Ayr Residence CSD dialect area: Ayr Country of residence: Scotland Father's occupation: Toolmaker Father's place of birth: Bordeaux Father's region of birth: Dordogne Father's country of birth: France Mother's occupation: Housewife Mother's place of birth: Kinross Mother's region of birth: Perthshire Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area: Kinr Mother's country of birth: Scotland Languages: Language: English Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: Day to day Language: French Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: On holiday