SCOTS Project - www.scottishcorpus.ac.uk Document : 460 Title : A Small Book of Translations: 12 - Catullus 11 Author(s): Alexander Hutchison Copyright holder(s): Alexander Hutchison Text EGNATIUS, QUOD CANDIDOS HABET DENTES Iggy, because he happens to have white teeth, slaps on a permanent grin. Suppose he approaches the plaintiff's bench – the advocate plucking at the heart strings – there's that smile. When tears are tripping a mother bereft at the grave of her own sweet biddable boy – he's smiling still. Whatever it is, wherever he is, whatever else he may be up to, you can guarantee his pan stays cracked. It's an ailment he's got: in my view neither flattering nor a fit state to be. I'll tell you, Ignatius, old cheese, if you were a Cockney, a Brummie, or a Geordie or a lard-ass Liverpudlian, a blob from Belfast, or a black and tusky Cardiff-ite – or a Keelie (for nearest and dearest) – or anyone else that cleans their teeth with clean tap water, I still wouldn't want you to plaster on that everlasting gob-stretching grin. Nothing dies a death like a manufactured laugh. As it is, you're a Mealie, and in Mealie-land everyday the Mealies work their teeth and rosy gums with what was pissed that morning – so the more refulgent the choppers the more piss you're seen to have downed or floated over. This work is protected by copyright. All rights reserved. The SCOTS Project and the University of Glasgow do not necessarily endorse, support or recommend the views expressed in this document. Information about document and author: Text Text audience General public: Audience size: 1000+ Text details Method of composition: N/A Year of composition: 2004 Word count: 211 General description: Collection of poems in translation Text medium Book: Email: Leaflet/brochure (prospectus): Magazine (e-zine): Periodical/journal: Radio: Text publication details Part of larger text: Text setting Other: Literature in translation/poetry Text type Poem/song/ballad: Author Author details Author id: 420 Forenames: Alexander Surname: Hutchison Gender: Male Decade of birth: 1940 Educational attainment: University Age left school: 17 Occupation: Writer / Senior Lecturer Place of birth: Buckie Region of birth: Banff Birthplace CSD dialect area: Bnf Country of birth: Scotland Place of residence: Glasgow Region of residence: Glasgow Residence CSD dialect area: Gsw Country of residence: Scotland Father's occupation: Medical Practitioner Father's place of birth: Spey Bay Father's region of birth: Moray Father's birthplace CSD dialect area: Mry Father's country of birth: Scotland Mother's occupation: School Meals Supervisor Mother's place of birth: Buckie Mother's region of birth: Banff Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area: Bnf Mother's country of birth: Scotland Languages: Language: English Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: Generally/work/home etc. Language: French Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: No Understand: Yes Circumstances: Language: Italian Speak: No Read: Yes Write: No Understand: No Circumstances: translation Language: Latin Speak: No Read: Yes Write: No Understand: No Circumstances: Language: Scots Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: Socially/home/writing