SCOTS Project - www.scottishcorpus.ac.uk Document : 592 Title : The Girnin Gates - Chapter 3 Author(s): Hamish MacDonald Copyright holder(s): Hamish MacDonald Dr James Robertson: Signed on behalf of Itchy Coo, a partnership between Black & White Publishing and Dub Busters. Text THE NUN WHO DECIDED TAE INTERVENE Bi two in the mornin Clydebank Toon Haw wis fillt up wae evacuees. Da gote a haud a some blankets an hud laid thum doon fur Maw. Ah hud decidit ma time wis right, an that Ah wantit oot frae the womb at last. So Ah startit burrowin ootwards lik a wee mole, an Da shoutit: "Help! My wife's watters huv broke! She's gonnae huv a wean! Help!" Anen evrubdy crowdit roon, but there wis nae nurses nur doactors nur nuhin, ther wis jist a nun. The nun decided tae intervene. She breenged in an held Maw's haun an goes in a tuneful Irish twang: "What is your name, dear?" "Merry MacGlinchy!" "Well, Merry MacGlinchy, I'm Sister Josephine and everything's going to be just fine. I will pray to God and everything will be fine." Anen Maw startit haein me. She's greetin wae the pain, an Da's haudin ur haun, an the crowd partit back a good six feet, an sister Josephine wis staunin ther prayin tae God, anen some bigot balloon frae oor street cawed Scobie interruptit an goes in ees big daft voice: "Heh! Stoap! Stoap! Somedae stoap that nun prayin! The MacGlinchies ur Prodissants! If thon wean comes oot while the nun's prayin it'll be boarn a Cafflick!" Anen Da goes: "Ach shut yer stupit pus Scobie! Whit's it tae you? Ye spend that much ae yer time in a bookie's ur a boozer's ye widnae know the inside ae a church frae a flyin-saucer!" Well, ma Da might well huv ees faults, but never hus ee hud any time fur stupit religious bigots. An ee goes tae Sister Josephine: "Keep prayin Sister! At least until the wean's heid appears, anen ma wife'll manage fine bi ursel." Sister Josephine stood an prayed hard. Maw gied a big push an Da went tae guddle me oot. The nun stepped forward tae help. Ah drew in ma first breath tae take a scream. Yes! Ah wis boarn! Anen the wins ripped the angel frae its base. Bronze wings provin useless, it toppled doon a hunner feet frae the clock-tower dome an crashed right through the roof a the haw. It landit oan the flerr wae a mighty bang, landin exackly oan the spot wher Sister Josephine hud been staunin prayin jist a few seconds afore. Oh man. Whit a miracle. Anen it boonced up oan the sprung dance-flerr a the haw. It landed oan its tip-toes an pirhouetted, shot ten fit intae the err. It burled roon, anen drapped an cloacked Sister Josephine right oan the side a the napper. Aye. It wis a miracle awright. A miracle she wisnae splattered. Six months in the Western wae a fractured skull. It's no exackly lucky-white-heather Ah know, but hud Sister Josephine no stepped forward at that very moment, she wid've gote pulverised tae burger-meat bi yon angel. An that wis the night Ah wis boarn. But little difference wid that smaw mercy make tae me, the new arrival. A new-boarn wean, a fallen angel, an a comatose nun. Hauf a Clydeside blootert bi the Ned Storm. Ah suppose frae that moment oan, it wis gonnae be in the script that everhin wis ma fault. This work is protected by copyright. All rights reserved. The SCOTS Project and the University of Glasgow do not necessarily endorse, support or recommend the views expressed in this document. Information about document and author: Text Text audience Teenagers (13-17): Audience size: 1000+ Text details Method of composition: Wordprocessed Year of composition: 2003 Word count: 564 Text medium Book: Text publication details Published: Publisher: Itchy Coo Publication year: 2003 Place of publication: Edinburgh ISBN/ISSN: 1 902927 72 9 Edition: 1st Part of larger text: Contained in: Extract from The Girnin Gates, contained in "Double Heider//: Twa Novellas in Scots" Editor: Authors: Hamish MacDonald and Sheena Blackhall Page numbers: 10-11 Text setting Business/commerce: Education: Text type Prose: fiction: Author Author details Author id: 725 Forenames: Hamish Surname: MacDonald Gender: Male Decade of birth: 1950 Educational attainment: College Age left school: 16 Upbringing/religious beliefs: Protestantism Occupation: Writer Place of birth: Helensburgh Region of birth: Dunbarton Birthplace CSD dialect area: Dnbt Country of birth: Scotland Place of residence: Kirkpatrick Durham, near Castle Douglas Region of residence: Kirkcudbright Residence CSD dialect area: Kcb Country of residence: Scotland Father's occupation: Various industrial occupations Father's place of birth: HM Prison, Barlinnie, Glasgow Father's region of birth: Glasgow Father's birthplace CSD dialect area: Gsw Father's country of birth: Scotland Mother's occupation: Various, inc. schoolteacher Mother's place of birth: Renfrew Mother's region of birth: Renfrew Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area: Renfr Mother's country of birth: Scotland Languages: Language: English Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: All circumstances Language: Gaelic; Scottish Gaelic Speak: No Read: No Write: No Understand: Yes Circumstances: A little understanding Language: Scots Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: All circumstances