SCOTS Project - www.scottishcorpus.ac.uk Document : 739 Title : The Nyaff (Scottish Types No. 2) Author(s): Tom Hubbard Copyright holder(s): Tom Hubbard Text Gin you wad ken the NYAFF, think on the word. Ane nebstril heezed at you gin that you were A duggie’s tolie he had trodden on; The N enters your lug, slaw, leesurely, Tweestin, searin sherp and neat, Then the YAAAAAA crescendos as ti brust your heid – A siren warnin o invasioun – Then, sudden, the FFff faas fortissimo, His teeth upon his lip ti shut you oot. O, but you’d grien ti enter wi your fist! You yourself pronounce the word quick eneuch – - NYAFF. A snotterie N, the Y a hint o YOU, PISS (understuid), then AFF, git aff o ma kintra! – YOU PRISS AFF, YE SLEEKIT NYAFF – No that there’s ever a nyaff at wisna sleekit As we’ve kent syne seventeen-seeven (at the least). A Scottish type? O ay! He’s shair he’s Scottish: It’s awfly nyice to be beck in the mutha countri, At a taïme like this. I’d retha live in Enbra Than any utha citi in th Yoo Kay. So many concets, opra, prahvate views, Bk launches – Scotland’s netional drink: chp waïne! Chp waïne, indeed, the natives always waïning. Nevah maïnd: I even knew the Gay Lick f Scotland, And wen I pronyced it ELBA, I got the job. ELBA indeed! Gin that he’s sic a Scot, You’d lang ti drap him on a faur-oot inch A hunner mile due west o Papa Westray. He’s a dominator i the guise o a liberator, He’s the verra Nyaffoleon Bonyaffarte o nyaffs: - Tho true, that’s faur fae fair on the Empriour Wha wisna near successful as oor nyaff. Tho rare wad be ’s retrait fae Edinbro, Snaw cuidna freeze him oot: he’d freeze the snaw. This work is protected by copyright. All rights reserved. The SCOTS Project and the University of Glasgow do not necessarily endorse, support or recommend the views expressed in this document. Information about document and author: Text Text audience General public: Audience size: 100+ Text details Method of composition: Handwritten Word count: 298 Text medium Book: Magazine (e-zine): Periodical/journal: Text publication details Published: Publisher: Edinburgh Review Publication year: 1992 Place of publication: Edinburgh ISBN/ISSN: 0-7486-6132-8/0-267-6672 Part of larger text: Contained in: Edinburgh Review, Summer 1992 Editor: Murdo Macdonald Page numbers: 190-191 Part of a longer series of texts: Name of series: Ane Guide ti Scottish Types Text setting Leisure/entertainment: Text type Poem/song/ballad: Author Author details Author id: 232 Forenames: Tom Surname: Hubbard Gender: Male Decade of birth: 1950 Educational attainment: University Age left school: 18 Upbringing/religious beliefs: N/A Occupation: Academic, librarian and writer Place of birth: Kirkcaldy Region of birth: Fife Birthplace CSD dialect area: Fif Country of birth: Scotland Place of residence: Kirkcaldy Region of residence: Fife Residence CSD dialect area: Fif Country of residence: Scotland Father's occupation: Caterer Father's place of birth: Dysart Father's region of birth: Fife Father's birthplace CSD dialect area: Fif Father's country of birth: Scotland Mother's occupation: Caterer Mother's place of birth: Dysart Mother's region of birth: Fife Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area: Fif Mother's country of birth: Scotland Languages: Language: English Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: Everyday Language: Italian Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: Work, holiday, fluency fluctuating Language: Polish Speak: No Read: No Write: No Understand: No Circumstances: Smattering. Work, holiday Language: Scots Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: Everyday. Scots spoken in relaxed circumstances