SCOTS Project - www.scottishcorpus.ac.uk Document : 805 Title : Conversation 12: Two male students chatting about pastimes Author(s): N/A Copyright holder(s): SCOTS Project Audio transcription M816: There's a lot of that flu goin around, //so,// M815: //Chicken,// bird flu or something. Don't know //what it is.// M816: //No, that's not// arrived yet. //But apparently// M815: //No.// M816: they're stockpiling antivirals for that, so. M815: Plus, we got a, we got letters into the flat the other day saying that none of us have had wir MMR jags yet. M816: Have you not ever had an MMR? M815: No, cause apparently, erm, it only started when I was about, know how they give it out in primary schools and that now? It started when I was, I don't know, twelve or something, //so I never got it.// M816: //uh-huh// M815: So, need to go down and get it. M816: Ah well you see whe- in my day, you just caught //mumps and measles// M815: //[laugh]// M816: and rubella, you got //[inaudible]// M815: //[cough]// M816: It was a case of, somebody down the street had chicken-pox, so [laugh] you got sent down to see them. [laugh] //"Just go doon// M815: //Aye.// M816: just go doon the street and play with so-and-so. They've got chicken-pox." [laugh] M815: I had chicken-pox when I was young, so //I've never// M816: //Aye.// M815: really M816: Well that was it. It was a case of catch them all. //[inaudible] "So-and-so// M815: //uh-huh// M816: down the street's got mumps, away you go and play wi them, so you ended up wi mumps and measles. I don't think I ever had rubella, but in our //day it was called German,// M815: //[laugh] Rubella?// M816: in oor day it was called German measles, so //Ye ye never// M815: //Ah,// //it's a bit too,// M816: //bothered aboot it.// M815: bit too exotic, rubella, don't know, measles. M816: Mmhm M815: It's alright. M816: Aye. M815: I've never really had a breakage either. I cracked my head open when I was when I was young. M816: Oh God, I've broken about every bone in my body. M815: No. M816: None o the big, //none o the,// M815: //Too careful!// M816: none o the major ones. I mean, school, w- we used to finish school sort of like the end of June, cause we would be off all - I don't know how long they have off these days, but we were off for like eight weeks. M815: About six weeks or something //now.// M816: //Ah// we were off for like eight weeks, it was //like the whole of July and// M815: //[cough]// M816: and the whole of August. M815: [sniff] M816: And school would finish and two days later I'd be in the Vicky. //And I'd to spend the rest of the summer// M815: //[laugh]// M816: wi a stookie, [laugh], either o ma arms. Erm, I'm, but none of the major bones. But I've done collar bones, er shoulder bo-, shoulder blade, arms, both arms, fingers, umpteen fingers, especially when I started //to work in the steel works.// M815: //Oh, no.// //I'd hate tae break a finger.// M816: //Erm,// Umpteen fingers, er, ankles, toes. I've even broken bones in my foot. Erm, I've broken both, both legs. //But the// M815: //I must just be// M816: the shins, not the the femur. Oh I've done the lot. M815: I must have just been lucky. //That's like,// M816: //Yeah.// M815: I hit my head off a radiator, when I was aboot five. And that's like one o ma, that's like one o ma earliest memories, crackin ma head open and bein held over a bath while I //bled intae the bath.// M816: //[laugh]// [laugh] //[laugh] See the// M815: //I used, I used to go, I// M816: sympathy ye get fae yer mither. //Don't make a mess o the carpet!// M815: //Yeah. [laugh]// //Yeah.// M816: //[laugh]// //[laugh] That, that's// M815: //You shouldn't use the good towels either: [?]that was[/?] a tea-towel or something, dabbin ma head.// I used to do mountain-biking and all that, but I don't know, I must have been quite careful. //Oh// M816: //Uh-huh// M815: I've no got a bike up here. I live in, eh, down in Patrick Cross. M816: Mmhm M815: D- sort of Dumbarton Road, Benalder Street. M816: Yeah I know where //ye are.// M815: //Yeah?// //Across fae,// M816: //Yeah, I know the area well.// M815: across from the Partick Tavern. M816: Aye. M815: I don't really like the Partick Tavern though. M816: Is it old man's //pub?// M815: //[laugh]// M816: [laugh] Ma //kind of pub. I// M815: //[laugh]// M816: I don't like these pubs with their blaring music, aye. M815: I don't, I'm not I'm not a //part of a union or anythin.// M816: //[cough]// M815: I never bothered to join in the Union, //keep ma.// M816: //Yeah.// M815: Mm M816: Yeah. I joined the QM, primarily because apparently the food's better in there than it is in the GU. M815: I I go to the, I went to the Hub last year, but I go to the one up near English, the English Department now. M816: Mmhm M815: Know where that is? //It's like// M816: //Uh-huh// M815: the dining rooms up there. //That's where I go.// M816: //Yeah.// I'm in the Mature Students' Association. We've got our own rooms. M815: Aye, on Oakfield //Avenue, yeah.// M816: //Doon Oakfield Avenue.// And we've got a kitchen, microwaves, and a fridge and a freezer, so I usually nip intae Asda and get so many ready-meals, especially when there's a special offer, like three for a fiver, //and stick them in the freezer.// M815: //Yeah.// M816: So I can always nip in there and stick stuff in the microwave and warm it up. M815: So what is it you do, you work as? //[inaudible]// M816: //I work, oh I work// for Royal Mail, but I wor- I I work as a postman at the moment for Royal Mail. M815: Yeah. M816: Was to, you see, th- the the plan was to make me redundant. //And I was gonnae// M815: //Yeah.// M816: come back to University and get ehm, I've got a degree in Engineering. M815: Yeah. M816: All right? Which British Steel paid for, many many years ago. And eh, I was gonnae come back and do an Arts degree when they made me redundant. And they never made me //redundant, so// M815: //[cough]// M816: [laugh] I'm sort of hangin on there primarily for the pension, to be quite honest wi you. Ehm, cause I've got, my own pension, well, wi British Steel when ye turned eighteen, er you then started to make, you then started to pay into the pension fund. They started to take the contributions off you when you were eighteen. And I remember sittin in the works' canteen, cursin and swearin and jumpin up and doon, cause I'd got my wage slip, and //they were pe-// M815: //Yeah, they takin money off you?// M816: pension cut, a pension, I'm eighteen years old, pension! Good grief! And er, but see now, I mean I could kiss them, I'm tellin ye. Huh, yes! M815: I've no got a [?]lot o foresight[/?]. See I, eh, what I wanted to do was, I didn't, I've never really known what I wanted to do, I wanted to go to Art School. //I do// M816: //Mmhm// M815: a bit o photography quite a lot. I've always done it, but then I kind of bottled it a wee bit, and decided I didn- I didn't, wasn't good enough, so I didn't bother. M816: Yeah. M815: And then ehm. Like I did quite well in school and that, so they says, "Look, we'll try to get ye down to Cambridge." So I went down to Cambridge and I got in. And then I bottled it again, I'm like "Na, I don't don't really belong down there, so I'll just not bother." M816: uh-huh M815: And then I came here at the like the very very last minute. M816: Aye. M815: So it's like a M816: So where are you from originally? M815: Er, I'm from a place called Gourock, which is near Greenock. Sort of M816: That's across the r-. Aye, I know Gourock //well.// M815: //Yeah.// M816: I used tae winch a lassie from //Greenock.// M815: //[laugh]// //It's like across from Dunoon.// M816: //Many years ago.// Aye. Many years ago. Gourock is one street. //[?]Little toon.[/?]// M815: //Yeah, it's tiny.// M816: And is, is the swimming pool still there? M815: Yeah, [?]Oban[/?] baths, it's like an open-air baths. M816: Aye, sort of erm. M815: [laugh] It's like a heated pool, but it's not got a roof on it. M816: That's right, yeah. //[inaudible]// M815: //And then like// er, if it's, if it's like a windy day, you've got all the sea, the //like, the Clyde's right there, so the spray comes right off.// M816: //The spray comes off, aye, comes off the, aye.// I know Gourock well. //Aye.// M815: //It's like// the worst idea ever. "Let's let's build an open-air pool, and just stick it right next to the Clyde." M816: Ah, but they were healthy. //It was good for you in those// M815: //I suppose so.// M816: days. It was, every place had one. There's ehm, was it [inaudible] I think, North Berwick. It's listed because it's it's Art Deco //sort of artwork.// M815: //Don't know, don't know if// it's Art Deco. M816: And there's one up at Stonehou- ehm, I was gonna say Stonehouse. Stonehaven up beside Aberdeen. There's one there as well. It was supposed to be healthy for you, to go out there in the open air and swim. M815: Aye. //[?]Just aboot.[/?]// M816: //In Scotland!// [laugh] //[laugh]// M815: //I mean if you went// down there now, there'd just be loads of wee neds running about, just //tryin// M816: //Aye.// M815: chuck ye in [inaudible] M816: Yeah. That was that was healthy, good bracing sea //air. It was good for you. [inhale]// M815: //There was a, there was a fish in it one day.// That was a, that was a highlight of my summer once. //when I went into Gourock pool and there was a fish in it.// M816: //[laugh]// //How did it get in there?// M815: //It's like where we were. I don't know.// //[inaudible]// M816: //How on earth did it get there?// M815: Maybe it was like a jumpin fish. //Don't know. But there was a fish.// M816: //[inaudible]// //Yeah.// M815: //And they all had// to get out of the pool, and there was like girls screamin, runnin about. M816: Aye. M815: Man, that was a fish, fish in the pool. M816: Aye. [laugh] //[laugh]// M815: //We had a// we had a killer whale, apparently out in the Clyde, down where I stay. [inaudible] It was called Clydie. //Peop-// M816: //Aye.// M815: People kept seein it. M816: Yeah. M815: And then up, up at Kilmacolm now, apparently, this gardener keeps seeing a panther walking about. M816: Aye, there's supposed //to be a few places// M815: //Yeah.// M816: in Scotland have got them. They're sort of big cats that are about the //place. There seems to be quite,// M815: //Don't know. It's probably just a big dog, or something.// M816: there seems to be quite a few o them around. A lot of people are seeing them. //We do// M815: //Mm// M816: quite a bit, do quite a bit o hill-walking and climbing an M815: Yeah, ma dad's into that. He done, ma dad's done the West Highland Way a few times, //and that.// M816: //Has he?// Good. I've done it, I've done it South to North, North to South, and I've done the Ironman Challenge. M815: Hm M816: You start at //Fort William,// M815: //[cough] [sniff]// M816: and you go for twenty-four hours. Just right //through.// M815: //Non-stop.// M816: And the idea is to get at least fifty-six miles. If you can get fifty-six miles you get a gold award for it, a gold medal for doin it. Erm, the first fourteen hours are fine, but see after that, you are just dead on your feet. M815: I'm a, I'm a bit frail for that. I did, ehm, it was like middle-distance runnin I did in school. M816: Eight hundred, fifteen //hundred, aye.// M815: //Yeah.// So it wasn't, I co-, I mean, I'm all right at sprints, but I was never like s- up there with the best in the school, but middle distance, that was ma //that was ma thing.// M816: //Aye.// M815: And cyclin as well. //That's just// M816: //Aye.// M815: what I've got the build for. I was never really good at, see when they put me in football or rugby or something, and they would just //tear me to pieces.// M816: //I played, I// played football for the school, and er, we had a great team, one year. And er, we reached the semi-final o the Scottish, Scottish Schools Cup. M815: Yeah. M816: And er, and in the semi-final, this great big heifer //of a centre-half// M815: //[cough]// M816: took a swing at me, and he hit me on the sole of ma foot, and he actually broke two bones in //ma foot. Aye!// M815: //Hell, just by, kickin it?// M816: Er, aw he was, erm, and I ended up with two broken bones in my foot, and I missed the final, and I never got my medal. I was furious, I was furious. But the guy that played goals for us was a guy called Dougie Thomson, who is the bass player in Supertramp. [laugh] M815: I've heard the name, but, you know. M816: Aye. Aye, Supertramp, we'd quite, we'd quite a few, eh, Midge Ure was at school wi me as well. M815: Ultravox? //Yeah.// M816: //Yeah.// M815: My mum likes Ultravox. M816: Aye. And I can go way back further than that. I can remember him playing wi, what was it they were called? They were called Salvation. And then they got a recording contract, and they were called Slick, they were one-hit wonders. M815: No, never heard o them. //I went out// M816: //Uh-huh// M815: I went out with a girl, and her dad was in a band with the drummer, used to be a drummer in Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark. M816: Aye. M815: Back in the day. I didn't know they had a drummer, I thought it was just like synthesisers and all that. I don't know. Maybe she was just trying to impress me. M816: Aye, there's sometimes, remember, the guy, ye ye, he may have just been paid. M815: Yeah. M816: I mean Ronnie Woods is not a member of the Stones, but he gets paid something like fifty million pounds for a tour. [laugh] M815: Sit and do a wee, [inaudible] try it in the back-room. M816: Aye. Apparently Jasper Carrott's banned from Rolling Stones tours, cause they say he's a bad influence //on Ronnie Woods.// M815: //[cough]// M816: [laugh] //[laugh] Jasper// M815: //Jasper Carrott?// M816: Carrott is ba-. He's a pal o Ronnie Woods apparently. M815: The comedian? M816: Aye. An eh he's banned from Rolling Stones tours. They won't allow him to co-, they won't allow him to come anywhere near them when they're on tour, because he's a bad influence on Ronnie Woods. [laugh] Can you imagine that? [laugh] //[laugh] Ca- [laugh] I mean, no! [inaudible]// M815: //He seems like, [cough]. He doesn't seem very rock and roll, does he, Jasper Carrott?// M816: see that at all, I mean gonnae c-, I mean how can how can anybody be a bad influence? You've got Keith Richards //there. [laugh]// M815: //Yeah, on the Rolling Stones, you know?// M816: [laugh] M815: I'm not, I mean I tried to play the guitar a bit, and all the way through school, but it's just one of those things, I think, you either have it or you don't. M816: You've got to persevere with //it. And// M815: //Yeah.// M816: you got to get through the callouses //on the fingers. [laugh]// M815: //[laugh] I know, it's// //Ah, I tried my best// M816: //Uh-huh// M815: I'm I'm I'm mediocre at best //when I'm playing the guitar.// M816: //Ach, I play guitar.// I play, but you've gotta rel- I don't play it so much these days. but, in my day, it was big folk thing was the M815: Yeah. M816: the things, big folk revival, and ehm, oor school had a folk club at the time. And er the teacher that ran it originally. God, what was his name? Erm, Buchan, Norman Buchan, and then he went, he went on to become Labour MP for, it was East Renfrewshire. And the guy that replaced him was Adam MacNaughton, and Adam MacNaughton's done a lot of sort of music-hall songs, jeely piece songs. M815: Mm M816: "They're pullin doon the buildin", no, "They're pullin doon the prison next to oors" aboot Duke Street prison, and "The Number forty-six bus", he wrote all those. He was a mixed on, so he looked after the folk club, so of course you'll, there was a whole crowd of us. M815: Yeah. M816: I mean, Jim Ure would be playing guitar. Know what I mean? And we used to have concerts at lunchtime in the in the school, so you got up and you did your turn, sort of, we we all sort of play [inaudible]. So you couldnae move in the school //for guys// M815: //Yeah. [laugh]// M816: luggin aboot //guitars. [laugh]// M815: //[cough] [sniff]// M816: So every class, at the front of the class, be half a dozen guitars piled up. M815: Yeah, that's mostly what I would be doin, most of the time, carryin it //about for// M816: //Uh-huh// M815: just for the //effect.// M816: //Mmhm// M815: Didn't really, //didn't really work.// M816: //It's it,// it's gettin past the the sore, the the callouses. M815: I know. M816: On the left hand especially, and then you've got to just keep the nails short on the left hand, but sort of well, especially if you're going to learn to play like Spanish guitar, you've got to learn to, //the nails have got to be long on the right hand.// M815: //[inaudible]// M816: So you've got to keep working away at them. So what other classes you doin? M815: Er, I do Level 2 Philosophy and First year History. M816: How do you find Level Two Philosophy? I did it last year in first, but I cannae make it this year cause the lectures are too early. M815: It's all right. I mean, I mean, you do logic, like formal logic, you know, aw these wee symbols and aw that, //which I don't really// M816: //Mmhm// M815: mind, cause I did a, I did maths to quite a a like a high level in school, //cause I needed like// M816: //Mmhm// M815: A-levels, if I was goin down south, so they made me sit down and do all these maths things. Ma brain doesn't work that way. //So I// M816: //Eh// M815: really had to sit down and work at it, and I'm finding it's the same thing this time. I don't know. It's just over ma head most of the time. //And ehm// M816: //It was a lot// M815: the other, the other thing is, It's like, when you say to people, "Oh, yeah, I do Philosophy", and they'll say things like "Oh yeah, so, you look at a table and go 'is that table really there?', that kind of stuff." M816: Aye, //aye.// M815: //And that's// actually what we're doin in //Philosophy just now!// M816: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// M815: //And I'm like, "Yeah.// //We are tryin to figure out if this table's actually there."// M816: //[sniff] Yeah.// //Mm Back// M815: //I don't know. Don't know.// M816: back to Descartes. //[laugh]// M815: //Yeah.// Yeah, it's like all that sort of doubt stuff. M816: Yeah. M815: But eh, more extreme level. M816: Mm Can you really believe it, if all this is in existence, or? I've got, I I've got some friends who are Buddhists, an oh, what was their one? Aye and they were discussing the other night, and there, Na- Nagrajuna's contradiction. M815: What's that? M816: Ehm, the ultimate truth is that there's no ultimate truth. I says, is that no just a tautology? M815: Yeah, how can how can that be the ultimate truth if there's no //ultimate truth?// M816: //The ultimate// truth, I've said "Is that no just a tautology?" //It's just like// M815: //[cough]// M816: like "How can you prove or disprove that? It's impossible." M815: Yeah. I'm not, n- not really religious, ma family really, no. M816: Aw, I'm no maself, I said it's just that ehm, I've got these friends and they were quite into Buddhism, an M815: Yeah. M816: I like the mediations I have to be honest, I enjoy the //the meditations.// M815: //The Descartes, Descartes, yeah?// M816: Yeah. //No// M815: //No, it's// M816: not Descartes' meditations, but Buddhist //meditation, yeah.// M815: //Oh, Buddhist meditation.// M816: Quite good. Er, very good for calming the //mind [inaudible].// M815: //Yeah, if you're getting worked up// round about exam time? //Yeah.// M816: //Yeah, for// destressing, you know, very good for that. M815: Yeah, I'll go I'll go out on ma bike, or if I'm down the road, I'll just go out a walk, take ma ma camera. I mean I just got a, like a a digital camera there. And I'm gettin some good stuff, //cause o the way// M816: //Mmhm// M815: the best way to look at a digital picture is on the monitor of a screen. M816: Yep. M815: And if it's on a flat screen you get this sort of light. Cause that's the way it works. //You're gettin// M816: //Yeah.// M815: the light comin through. M816: Yep. M815: And the way it works it's just i- //it really, if you're// M816: //Mm mm// [sniff] M815: doin the sort of light thing which I'm into just now, and you get the light comin off it, it's really sort of //It's nice and// M816: //Mmhm// M815: translucent, you get a nice //nice quality [inaudible] on it.// M816: //Yeah, my my brother's a professional// //photographer.// M815: //Yeah?// M816: Well, at the mo-, he he lives in Australia now, and he's workin for the Australian government: they're takin all the old film stock, //kind of// M815: //Yeah.// M816: digitalising it, if that's the way you could put it. But so, the old cellu-, some of the, lot of the old celluloid stock, and the celluloid's beginnin to //to decompose.// M815: //Yeah, so they// remaster it so they can keep it. M816: Yeah. So they're puttin them all into into computers so that they can ehm, store it, you know, cause a lot of it goes way way back. He says the glass stuff is alright. That's okay at the moment. M815: Mmhm I mean it would be like the manuscripts for Old English and all that. //You'd need to start puttin// M816: //Yeah.// //It's it's part of Australian// M815: //them on. [inaudible] stuff now.// M816: history, so they've, they want to try and preserve all this stuff. M815: If they had computers back then, the Battle of Maldon wouldn't have had all the stuff missing from it, //wouldn't it? It would have been there. Yeah.// M816: //That's true. It would have been there.// M815: It's like trying to explain to people you're writing an essay on a poem that doesn't have a, doesn't have //a start, and doesn't have an end.// M816: //A start, and it doesn't have an ending.// We've just got the bit in the middle. M815: Yeah. M816: Yeah. Erm, that's what he does at the moment. He went eh, he decided to travel round the world, got to Australia, met an Australian girl and that was it. Just stayed there from then on in. Er, married her and that's him. And eh, he just works away for the. He was, he still goes oot and does photography. I was oot with him, I was over and ehm we went up to Northern Territories to visit, it's ehm [inhale] an Aboriginal sort of commune. M815: Yeah. M816: [cough] But they're artists. And he went up there to, eh, take photographs and do videotaping them working. M815: Yeah. M816: How the the Aborigines work, cause it's not sort of, an Aboriginal piece of art is not sort of one artist, it's like a group of them and they all //work together, to collaborate,// M815: //Collaborate, yeah?// M816: They do different bits of //it, different pieces of it.// M815: //[cough]// M816: Ehm, and the original ones, those that lived in rainforests, they did it on sort of tree bark, which ma- which will last a while. //But the ones// M815: //Yeah.// M816: in the desert, they actually did them on sand. And of course the next time //it rained or there was a wind come up, it just// M815: //Yeah, the wind comes up, yeah.// M816: blew the whole thing away. M815: There's something, there's something quite good about that though, that eh you do this piece of art and it would just last //like that, and then it would be gone. Yeah.// M816: //And it would just last so long and then it disappears,// and [inaudible] he does things like that. So I've spent some time with an Aboriginal commune. An artists' commune up in the Northern Territories. M815: Mmhm M816: Quite good watchin them work, and I got quite into Aboriginal art for a while. Eh, it's difficult to sort of understand it unless you've real- a real concept of //their their spirituality.// M815: //Yeah, and// yeah and where they're, where they're comin from, what's goin on in their heads. M816: Yeah, cause every animal has a, is a a deity or some form of deity, like a lizard's a deity. The snake's a deity. It depends on the various tribes which ones are which. M815: Yeah. M816: Er, and they've lost somethin like fifteen hundred s-, I think it's fifteen hundred tribes have actually just simply disappeared From when //Cook// M815: //Just.// M816: arrived till they began to settle Australia properly till, M815: Just through the, through M816: disease, //disease, yeah,// M815: //and dyin away or becoming part of normal society, or?// M816: bein Westernised. and what not, so. //But that's what he does.// M815: //I mean, but it's// difficult though, to preserve these sort of things without putting a sort of Western imprint on them. //If you go out there,// M816: //This is it.// M815: and try and preserve them then, M816: This is it. M815: you know? M816: Yeah. M815: It's like, endangered species, like you go out, and you have to rear some of them in captivity to get M816: Mmhm //There's// M815: //to get the// M816: apparently //there's one tribe now,// M815: //procreation goin again.// M816: and there's, there's only six of them left. And they're they're really worried because apparently it takes like six people to do the funeral rites. M815: [laugh] M816: So if. //If one// M815: //If one of them dies they're// M816: dies, basically they cannot bury him, or they can't bury him properly, according to the the tribe's traditions. M815: Yeah. M816: So [?]they're[/?] in real difficulty there. They're sort of tryin to. I don't know what what they're gonna do there. Big problem for them. And then they've lost a lot of the Aboriginal languages as well. M815: Yeah. M816: Huh So I was wonderin if they would let me go to Sydney and do ma ma Junior Honours year in Sydney, maybe I get to go and study Aboriginal //languages an// M815: //[cough]// M816: bring it back and see how they compare to English language. M815: A friend of mine went to New Zealand for his Junior Honours year. He's doin Earth Sciences, and Geology and all that. M816: Mmhm M815: And that did, that did a world of good for him. M816: Mmhm M815: in terms of. I thought about it for a while, but I don't know. //Quite like it here.// M816: //Oh I've// M815: Quite like this, this wee department. M816: I think you should always go. //You should travel;// M815: //Yeah.// M816: it broadens the mind. M815: Yeah. M816: Broadens the mind. M815: But he di-, he came back with, he came back with a bit of an awful girlfriend. She's she's not very. We'll have to cut this bit out obviously, //in case, in case he ever comes across.// M816: //[laugh] In case he sees it.// //[laugh] We'll skip this bit. [laugh]// M815: //I won't name any names but. [laugh]// Ah she's she's torture some times, she really is. M816: [throat] What, she doesn't get on wi you lot, or? //[laugh]// M815: //No, not really, no. [laugh]// M816: But see, that's it, because she'll regard you lot as a bad influence. You know what I mean? See women do this, wi men. I don't know why, you know? They get a guy and they're quite happy with him, but then they want to change him. I mean if we were that, if we were all right to form a relationship with, why on earth do you want //to change us?// M815: //Yeah, I know.// Maybe they maybe they just see potential in us, and then they //have to go and// M816: //Th- that's// apparently the, what //they say, yeah.// M815: //[inaudible]// M816: The only trouble is they don't tell us that they want to change us, or what's not quite right aboot us. You know, to at least let us have a chance o doin it for ourselves. Er Cause there's a website, what is it: 'The seven things' ehm, 'the seven things that men do that most upset women'. I thought brilliant. M815: [laugh] //Take a note o these.// M816: //Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.// Take a note o these. //[laugh]// M815: //[laugh]// M816: [laugh] [inaudible] toilet seat up. Well, I always leave the toilet seat up, that's //that's a a given.// M815: //[sniff]// M816: That's a definite given, yep. Toilet seat goes up. //Sprinkle while you tinkle. [laugh]// M815: //Yeah, I know. [laugh]// Well, it's quite difficult to aim sometimes, you know, it's //it's just.// M816: //[laugh]// [laugh] //It is, espe-.// M815: //[inaudible]// //I mean you don't know where it's gonna go sometimes.// M816: //Well especially// four or five //pints inside you,// M815: //[cough]// M816: an you're swaying slightly //as well.// M815: //[cough]// M816: You know what I mean, and it's decided, that's it, you're goin to pee like a horse, you know what I mean? You've been hangin ontae it, you know, you should have went before you left the pub but you decided you weren't gonna go, na, I'll be alright till I get home. //Then about half// M815: //Yeah.// M816: way home, it's oh God, I wish I'd gone before I left the pub. M815: It's when the cold air hits you, //and you go outside in the cold air.// M816: //[laugh]// [laugh] [laugh] It's that last //rush up the road.// M815: //[inaudible]// M816: Then you're //[laugh]// M815: //[laugh]// M816: the zip sticks, yer fly, and ye invent new dance //steps, as ye// M815: //[cough]// M816: dance around tryin tae get it loosened. [laugh] M815: I remember, erm, when I when I was at home, and I would be out and about at a mate's house, and you would come home. And it would always be, it would always be when I wasn't that drunk and I was comin in, that my mum would always come in and assume that I was. M816: Aye. M815: Cause I'd be makin, I'd sort of, be makin a lot of noise if I wasn't, if I was just kind of half there, and I'd be makin loads of noise and she would come out and shout. But see if I was really, sort of gone, I would be so careful, I'd be like theatrical, M816: Aye. M815: opening the door so //slowly and then// M816: //Oh yeah.// M815: creepin in. M816: Aye, we used //to.// M815: //And like I'm not// I'm no that bad, I'm not that //bad.// M816: //Yeah.// //I know.// M815: //But you know, it's just [inaudible].// M816: We used to erm, the front door used to bang slightly. So we never used the the front door. My brother and I //always used to go in the back// M815: //[laugh]// M816: door and that was because we could close it quietly: she couldn't hear us comin in. M815: The back door's always locked at ma house. M816: Aye. //We used to go round the back// M815: //Can never get in.// M816: door and that way she couldnae hear us comin in. But och, I've got pfff, wandered in, up the stairs, [laugh] and eh [inaudible] decided to take a photograph, I mean //there I am lyin// M815: //[laugh]// M816: face down on the bed, and I've still got - this was a kind of formal do I was at. M815: Yeah. M816: In fact it was a Burns' Supper. And they were sellin bottles of whisky at this Burns' Supper, you just didn't buy it by the glass, we we bought bottles of it, and we bought a forty-ouncer //of Black Label,// M815: //[laugh]// M816: which we tanned. We bought another forty-ouncer of Black Label, which we tanned //and then we won a third one// M815: //[laugh]// M816: in the raffle, so you can imagine. This was from about seven o'clock till about three //o'clock the next mornin.// M815: //Yeah, we won it in the raffle// so we can't let it go to waste now //if we won it in the raffle.// M816: //[inaudible]// So you, and there's four of us drinkin whisky, so we worked out that we'd drank a pint and a half of whisky over that period o time. And erm, [laugh] There's a photograph of me, must have walked straight up the stairs, intae ma room, and just walked to the end of the bed, and the end of the bed's just caught me and I've just went "bump", and there I am like flat oot on the bed: coat, shoes, the suit, collar, tie. Everything is still on. And I'm lyin there, bromp, oot on the bed. In fact they decided they would bring a basin in //just in case.// M815: //[laugh]// M816: And there's the basin lyin at the side of the bed, just in case I needed it. God I was hung over for aboot three //days after that. I decided never// M815: //[cough]// M816: again. I'm not gonna do this again. Oh //Nightmare.// M815: //Ah but ye get ye// ye get back on again, don't you? //You th- yeah.// M816: //Ye always do.// Ye always do. And then ma mates and I, or wh- certainly ma mates, never get drunk and fall asleep. Cause that's you, you you are for it. I mean, we've taken pinkin shears to people's hair. M815: [sniff] M816: We've done stripes through their hair. Erm, we've done stripes on the eyebrows. M815: [sniff] //Do you shave the eyebrow off?// M816: //You know.// //Ah we'll take it, well what// M815: //That happened to that guy.// M816: we've done is we've taken the the the outside half of one off and the inside half of //the other one off.// M815: //[laugh]// M816: [laugh] So, the choice is, just take them all off, or go aboot lookin like //a numpty.// M815: //[laugh]// M816: Er, stripes through //people's hair.// M815: //That's quite devious.// M816: We've done stripes that way, we've done them that way. It's a no-no, do not fall asleep. Ye've had it, cause eh that's it, we just, "oop get the scissors out." One guy, you see, one guy we took pinkin shears, you know what pinkin shears are? M815: No. M816: That's the ones that when you cut they leave a zig-zag edge. M815: [laugh] //[laugh]// M816: //[laugh]// M815: Where did you g-, were they just lyin about? M816: [laugh] //Had these pinkin shears// M815: //[cough]// M816: in the house, //so we just// M815: //[?]Oh, let's go[/?].// M816: decided to take them to his hair. [laugh] //[laugh]// M815: //If there was pinkin shears lyin about you know I would probably use them as well.// M816: [laugh] [?]What a state![/?] [laugh] So he'd to go to the hairdresser [inaudible] to get his head shaved, to get it sorted. //[laugh]// M815: //[cough] [sniff]// M816: Oh no, we're a nightmare, don't don't get drunk wi oh oh But when we go oot, oh, man alive, it's it's it's crazy stuff. You'd hink we'd know better at oor age, //as well, but no.// M815: //Yeah, I know.// M816: Ah //[inaudible]// M815: //Just get worse.// M816: there. That's it. [?]However.[/?] That's us, right, you know, it's about ten o'clock at night, eleven o'clock at night. Where are we goin noo? Lap-dancin club, right! //[inhale]// M815: //[laugh]// M816: What the hell are we goin there for? I've absolutely no idea. I mean. You're [?]flung intae[/?] this room. Some naked lassie dances in front o you, you end up wi a hard-on and they fling you oot into //a room full o guys.// M815: //[cough]// [cough] //[cough]// M816: //[inaudible]// and you're paying for the privilege. We're off oor heads. Prefer to go to the casino. //I'd rather// M815: //[?]I haven't[/?]// M816: lose ma money that way. M815: Yeah. M816: Aye. M815: No. M816: [inaudible] Oh we're a nightmare. Yeah, I say, ye'd think we'd know better, but no. Crazy stuff. Big football match, right? Everybody, pound a head, who are we puttin the money on? First scorer, see who's gonna score a goal first. Always goes down. We're aw sittin watchin this match one time, it was a penalty, we aw jumped up, "penalty, yes!" cause it was the team that we'd the money on. M815: Yeah. M816: And then it dawned on us that the penalty taker's no the guy that we've got the money on. So that was //no not penalty, not penalty, no no no.// M815: //[Tut] [laugh]// M816: But he missed it thankfully. So we managed to save, managed to save the money, but somebody else scored, so that was it. Bet doon the tubes again. M815: Mm Ma biggest problem when I go out is cause I look too young. So it doesn't matter, doesn't matter where I go, I'll get ID'ed. And I'll get ID'ed in the same place every time I go up to the bar. //Even by the same person, yer like// M816: //Mmhm Aye.// M815: "yer jist, yer jist takin the piss now, yer jist doin this tae //get on ma nerves".// M816: //[laugh]// But a lot of them have go to be ca- I mean I can understand a lot of them bein careful. [inaudible] It's twenty-one, some pubs. M815: Yeah, I know. M816: In there you must to be at least twenty-one before they'll they'll even entertain you. You know what I mean? I can understand it, cause, if it's [inaudible] the licence goes, and especially if there's they're aw big, they're aw big //chains.// M815: //Yeah.// M816: You know, they just can't afford to have the hassle and the aggravation. Eh, cause there's a couple o pubs in Glasgow at the moment; their licences are a bit iffy, for one reason or ither. You know, but eh there you go. I can understand it. I just wish they'd ID me. //Make ma day.// M815: //[laugh]// M816: [laugh] [sniff] M815: Ah, it's just annoying, you just, you just get it, just get your ID out before you even to the door now, //and just go "There you go".// M816: //Aye, you might as well.// M815: Yeah. M816: Might as well. M815: I know what's comin. //You know?// M816: //Yeah.// We used to do it at sixteen. "Two cans of Carlsberg please." "You eighteen?" "Of course I am." [laugh] M815: Ah, me, me and ma mates, we all, we found this guy, and he was like an absolute big hulk of a guy. And then we started hanging about with him cause he could get us drink. M816: Mmhm M815: Yeah. //[laugh] So that was that.// M816: //[laugh]// M815: Turned out to be an alright guy, actually. He was just this kind of quiet guy. He was just sort of this big, guy, he had really sort of long hair and he had a huge big growth on him. M816: Uh-huh M815: And he just used to sort of walk about like sort of, //this big yeti or something.// M816: //Uh-huh// Aye, so, aye, uh-huh we were the same. Sandy, he was aboot se-, even at sort of seventeen he was about six feet four and aboot seventeen stone, so we used //to send him in "In you go!" [laugh]// M815: //[laugh]// M816: "There's the money - in you go!" //[inhale]// M815: //[sniff]// M816: Half a dozen cans o Carlsberg Export. God, we thought we were livin. M815: [cough] M816: Yeah. Ten Embassy tips and [laugh] and a couple o cans o Carlsberg, Ah, that was us, we were there, we'd arrived. M815: I mean, we did it, it was like wee bottles of Merrydown we used to get, the cider. M816: Uh-huh The thing I can't understand. Have you ever tasted that Buckfast? M815: Buckfast is horrible, //you know, I thought, I thought I would// M816: //God, I've taste-// M815: have to try it just before I M816: I was the same, I had to try it cause they were all drinkin //this Buckfast.// M815: //I know.// M816: I've tasted better //medicine.// M815: //[laugh]// It's like ehm, there's another one you can get, Tudor Rose, which is even cheaper and it's even //worse.// M816: //Oh// God, I don't know, I think I'll //gie that a skip.// M815: //So we so we// we we bought the both of them when we were goin to someone's house once just to see what it was like, //you know just// M816: //Aye.// M815: so cause it was something to say we'd done. //They're horrible,// M816: //Aye.// M815: it's like horrible M816: Foul! How on earth would you? I mean you, the only reason you would drink that is to get drunk. //It's f-f-f-// M815: //No, you wouldn't even// M816: Foul! M815: You would just drink something else if you were gonna get drunk. M816: Absolutely foul. What the other? Old English - that's a foul thing as well. M815: I don't know. Old English is alright. I don't mind I don't mind cheap ciders. M816: No. M815: If you just drink loads of it. M816: Oh, I'm sorry, I've got to the stage these days where I want something a wee bit better. I've educated //my palate over the years.// M815: //[laugh]// M816: Sorry, no. No way, forget it. M815: Yeah. M816: I'm not drinking that. Yeah. Like ma single malts. Yes. M815: I'm I'm too young to be a whisky drinker. M816: Yeah. M815: Comes comes with age, being a whisky //drinker, doesn't it?// M816: //Yeah.// Yeah, you got to perse- you got to per- you got to //persevere with it.// M815: //Yeah.// M816: This is partly because I've got a cousin who's a real, he loves, he's a real connoisseur o the stuff. He can tell you all, he can taste it an tell you where it comes from. Yeah, that's a Lowland malt, that's a Highland malt, that's an Islay malt, that's f- Speyside, he knows all the //different ones.// M815: //Yeah.// M816: He can tell the characteristics. [inhale] New Year at Robert's house is, [inhale] Jesus. //You think prohibition's comin in at midnight, the way he pours the// M815: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// M816: //stuff.// Thank God I can walk to and from his house. M815: Yeah. M816: Oh M815: Oh we went tae, er, we weren't gonnae go, but we ended up goin tae George Square this year. You know, it's not really my idea of a of a brilliant time, standing in the freezing cold wi millions of //people// M816: //No.// //It's no, oh no my idea.// M815: //pressed up against you, but it was alright.// We spent most of the time at my friend's hou- eh flat in Clarkston, She's just moved in there. So it was just like kind of a sort of house-warming thing as well. M816: Mmhm M815: And that was alright. There was a few of us there, and then time got away from us, and then we ended up gettin there [laugh] about eleven o'clock or something. M816: Mm M815: Standing at the back, and then we didn't even realise that it had gone twelve. M816: Who was it this year? M815: It was Snow Patrol. //Mm// M816: //Mm// M815: Don't know. They're a bit too, bit too mainstream M816: Yeah. M815: for me. //Aye.// M816: //Aye.// //Well we// M815: //That's alright// it's like, it's an it's an alright atmosphere. People are all, tend to be in quite a good mood on New Year's. M816: Aye. M815: And they always come by and slappin you on the back and goin "Awright? //How's it goin?"// M816: //Yeah.// M815: You know, like? M816: Oh well, aye eh, my local pub, they have a New Year party. So it's like the regulars only. There's only about a hundred and fifty //actually can.// M815: //Yeah.// M816: You can only get about a hundred and fifty in this pub - it's quite a small pub. M815: [sniff] M816: So of course we get oor tickets, M815: [cough] M816: for it, and what they do is aboot eight o'clock they clear the pub oot. And then nine o'clock they open the doors again. //And yer back in wi the// M815: //Yeah, let in the people wi the tickets.// M816: tickets, and that goes on till aboot two o'clock in the mornin. Have er, Kenny, he's he's a good piano player, but he's a good amateur, but he's he'd love he'd love to have been a professional. //But he's just no good enough. He'd love to have been. No he loves// M815: //Yeah, a concert pianist or something like that?// //Uh-huh// M816: //jazz, I like jazz as well.// And what he does, we go back to his flat, and he sets up the flat, I mean we've got the piano, there's a drum kit, there's the plug points for guitars or anything that's electrical, there's, I mean a mic or a PA system. M815: Yeah. M816: Alright? M815: You just //play?// M816: //[inaudible]// We get a lot of the jazz musicians comin, I mean we get professional musicians //comin, I'll get ma// M815: //Yeah.// M816: take ma guitar up, and we'll just start to jam. And we, I mean he doesn't come to the pub, I mean, when you arrive in, I mean, there's a big, huge big thing full o Scotch broth. //[?]There's a log on[/?]// M815: //[laugh]// //[sniff]// M816: //Aye, [inaudible] but I mean.// Big pot full o Scotch broth, that's aw made up. Loads o bread, Scotch pies, beans. And //eh// M815: //Oh we always// used to have steak pie in ma house when it was //New Year.// M816: //Aye, that was the// the traditional //beef- the steak pie dinner before the bells.// M815: //Oh used to go down to ma aunties, oh aye you would have steak pie, and// M816: Oh M815: and you would go, you would //aw ma// M816: //Aye.// M815: family would be there. M816: Ma mother used //to, my mother// M815: //Ma dad's family.// M816: used to put the fire out. The coal fire, right? Put the fire out. M815: [cough] M816: And then, take aw the ashes, and they'd aw be taken down to the bin, and the fire would be relit. What the hell are you doin? M815: I've h- I've heard, I've actually heard of thowing out the ashes but //but I didn't.// M816: //Aye,// she'd throw the ashes oot just before the bells. M815: I thought that was like a metaphor though, I didn't think it was //something you would actually// M816: //Aye.// Aye, oh we we did. My mother used to do it. Aye, and along one wall he puts up, he puts a sheet of paper on a wall, for you to write your your New Year resolution //on it.// M815: //Aye.// Or a wee mention or something //on the wall.// M816: //That's it.// And eh, then we just go and we've people comin in and people goin out, an But just, I mean it's like a karaoke session, but guys arrive in, I mean we had a, we'd an eight-piece band going at one point. It was great. And there was a French girl, aye, she was a professional jazz singer //in Paris.// M815: //Mm// M816: Oh, we'd a ball! I apparently passed oot about six //o'clock. I passed oot// M815: //[laugh]// M816: aboot six o'clock in the mornin. But eh, I don't know if that was from the drink or the other substances. //[laugh]// M815: //[laugh] We'll have to censor that as// //well, won't we?// M816: //I don't care.// I don't care. //And// M815: //Aye well.// M816: er oh, we were, we'd a ball. Woke up aboot ten. [laugh] Where am I? M815: You only got four hours' sleep? //Well that's alright.// M816: //Aye.// M815: No //bad.// M816: //I always,// I've got to to Robert's cause we always go to Robert's for a M815: Yeah. M816: sort of, New Year's day lunch stroke dinner. And then he plies me wi whisky again, so I mean it's usually about the third or fourth of January before I really start to come round again. [laugh] M815: I hate this havin exams at January as well. M816: Oh M815: Drives me mental. You come off Christmas, you know, you've over-indulged a bit at Christmas, M816: Mmhm M815: you're still feelin a bit weak come New Year, and then all of a sudden it's the exams comin up. M816: And you've all these great plans for all the reading and all the work you're gonna do [laugh] over Christmas and New Year. [laugh] M815: It usually starts wi me at the start of the new term. I always go, right I'm gonnae, need to sit down and read the books this //year.// M816: //Yes,// New Year resolution. //[inaudible]// M815: //Go tae every// lecture, but, I mean for like arts subjects, you don't need to go to every lecture, it's just, don't know, don't need to go. You can get it oot of a book or somethin, that's what I M816: Well a lot of them you've got to go through the book anyway. //I mean the// M815: //Yeah.// M816: lectures just an outline, and you've really got to go through the book. //I'm doin economic// M815: //Yeah.// M816: and social history, and the lectures are really just an outline. M815: Yeah. M816: And every lecture, there are two, there's a mini reading list, which always has usually two or three items on it. Sometimes it's just a chapter, sometimes it's just a few //pages or maybe it's a website.// M815: //[cough]// M816: But you've really got to read them, but I mean you just can't do them all. M815: Yeah, I know. M816: And it's a case of pick three or four, because you've got to answer two questions out of fourteen, so it's a case of pick maybe two or three and really M815: Yeah, home in on //[inaudible]// M816: //Home in home in on// them and just hope that when they come up, ye, what comes up, the questions that come up are things that you can really go for. M815: Yeah. M816: Uh-huh What did you do for your essay? M815: Er, I did the Battle o Maldon. Question number eight. //I did.// M816: //Did you?// M815: What did you do, //the?// M816: //The// Latin grammar, the Greek and Latin grammar. M815: Oh dear! You must have been the only one. I didn't know, I haven't //heard of anyone that [?]could do[/?] that one.// M816: //I think I am, apparently.// I think I am apparently the only person that's done it. M815: Loads of people did the names question. //That was quite an// M816: //Mmhm// M815: easy question, I thought, //seemed like it.// M816: //Mmhm// M815: And loads of people did the Battle o Maldon as well. //I don't know how anyone did the La-// M816: //Mmhm// //I did that, uh-huh// M815: //Seemed like quite a// M816: modern linguistics, I like //the modern. I like the modern.// M815: //fiendish question, yeah.// M816: You know what I mean? The the Old English is probably ma weakest //part o the// M815: //Yeah.// M816: of the the three. //Yeah.// M815: //So are you gonnae// are ye gonnae keep this on next year, or //you goin// M816: //Er// no, I'll need tae drop it, cause I'm part-time. M815: Yeah. M816: So I only do two modules a year. M815: I don't know what I'm gonna keep on, whether it'll be philosophy or this. //Don't know.// M816: //Mm// //Yeah, so I'll I'll// M815: //I quite like it, quite like it here.// M816: cause I'll need to drop it and then finish off sort of Level One and Two. M815: Yeah. M816: And then see where I go from there. //Hopefully// M815: //Yeah.// M816: they'll make me redundant by that //time, and I can// M815: //[sniff]// M816: get to Australia. M815: Yeah. M816: Go to Australia and see what I can do there. M815: You could do anything really. M816: Mmhm Well I've got family there, so. M815: Yeah, I know. M816: Yeah. I mean even I I I mooted it with my eh cousin, When I was ov- when I wa-, she was on the phone at eh Christmas day, phone goes by eight o'clock on Christmas day. "Hi Mary!" //because it's whit// M815: //[laugh]// M816: ni- eight, nine o'clock there. "How're you doin?" M815: A rude awakening. //[cough]// M816: //Mmhm// Always have a blether, and I say, she says "So how's university?" I says, "Great", I said, "[inaudible] I think I could do a year in Sydney." "Aye, come and stay wi us." Yeah, good. //Cause she stays// M815: //Mm// M816: in a wee place called Cronulla, which is beautiful. //A lovely little// M815: //Yeah?// M816: town just outside Sydney, beautiful. M815: No, I've not got any any relatives out in out in Australia. //I've got some out in// M816: //Oh// M815: Dublin and places //like that.// M816: //Aye.// M815: [inaudible] M816: No. Gary's a, what do they call them noo? Assistant Commissionaire, it's the equivalent to like a Chief Constable, M815: Yeah. M816: in the new South Wales police. And in the Olympics he was in the charge of the sponsors' security. So I've, I'd always wanted to go to the Olympic Games, //so I thought ah// M815: //Yeah.// M816: Sydney, might as well do the whole hog and go and do the the Olympic Games in Sydney, an wi Gary bein there, M815: Yeah. M816: it was great, //because he's [inaudible]// M815: //Yeah, you could get in anywhere really,// //couldn't you?// M816: //Oh well actually I did.// //He erm.// M815: //[cough]// M816: There's a thing there's this thing called the Millennium Marquee. When I arrived there I went oot to ma brother's for three or four days just to get over the the jet-lag and I I watched the opening ceremony on television. And then I cont- I phoned Gary, and he says "Aye", he says, "Come up", he says, "and meet me at this place called the Millennium Marquee." Said "Aye, okey-dokey," so I arrive at this place the Millennium Marquee. [inhale] Says, "Right, in you go", he's in uniform, says, "Right, come on in, sit down", sat in front of the camera, took me photograph, "there you go", Access All Areas. //There's me wanderin aboot.// M815: //[laugh]// M816: Great time. M815: Uh-huh M816: Great time. It was a ball, it was a riot. And er, got to see got to see an Olympic Games. It was great. Especially the beach volleyball //at Bondi// M815: //[laugh]// M816: Beach. Yes! I don't care if this is sexist, but the female beach bolleyball, beach volleyball, yes! //[laugh]// M815: //Aye, yer only bein honest.// M816: [laugh] Wasn't too keen on the guys, but the girls, wonderful. They should make that, definitely //that's the new spectator// M815: //[laugh]// M816: sport. Definitely! [laugh] M815: They should show it on TV rather than darts, //for example, when you've got sort of [laugh] I know.// M816: //Oh to hell wi darts, oh yes.// Female beach volleyball? Bom. //That's the ultimate sport.// M815: //Huge big// Huge, like obese men throwing little //pins at a board.// M816: //Aye.// //[laugh]// M815: //That's not really.// M816: But do you see the way the cr- the the audience get at it? M815: Aye, they go mental, //don't they?// M816: //Don't they?// M815: Try to put them off //fae the shoutin and bawlin.// M816: //Aw// //Man alive!// M815: //And you get their, their like// equally obese wives shouting abuse at the //other// M816: //Aye.// M815: contestants an //things.// M816: //Aye.// My God, I mean how can you get so excited about darts? M815: D'ye d'ye play golf, no? M816: No. M815: No, it's never //like.// M816: //No.// M815: Ma dad was into it for a while. //But anyway.// M816: //No.// M815: Wasn't good at it, so he he dropped it. M816: Ah I subscribe to George Bernard, //was it George Bernard// M815: //[cough]// M816: Shaw? It's a wa- //It's a waste of a walk in the country.// M815: //[cough]// Yeah, so he's tryin to get me to do it as well, but it's just borin, isn't it? It's //just not// M816: //Mm// //Ma s- ma father-in-law was a// M815: //[inaudible]// M816: a [?]gey[/?] good amateur golfer, won his club championship, //and he sort of// M815: //Yeah.// M816: works championship. He worked in the Hoover in Cambuslang. And they'd a sort of golf section in there, and he won that several times, so he taught ma son. And Mark's, what, I think he plays off aboot three, no no no, it's about seven, seven I think it is now. M815: Ma co- ma eh cousin, Jamie, he's a he's a really good golfer as well. M816: Yeah. //But eh// M815: //Yeah.// M816: So he he [inaudible] sort of school holidays that was [laugh] Mark //disappearin.// M815: //Yeah, off to the golf// //course.// M816: //Yeah.// We never saw him for [inaudible] he disappeared about seven o'clock in the mornin, and he'd come back about nine o'clock, nine, half-past nine, ten o'clock at night. M815: Yeah. M816: Feed him, p-, go to his bed, and that would be him, up the next day and way back down the. He just spent his whole summer in the golf club. Doon the golf course, and played away, so. M815: The longest time I spent on a golf course was when we camped on it one night, after we'd done our done our exams in fourth year. //[laugh]// M816: //You// camped on a golf //course. You'd have been// M815: //Camped on a golf course, yeah.// M816: popular. Hope you didnae put your tent up on a green or a tee. M815: No, it was like, out the way, right up the very very back. //Cause it's kinna// M816: //Mmhm// M815: there's a golf course kinna near like where we used to stay, so put a tent up on the golf course. M816: Mmhm M815: Can censor that as well. I won't tell you where the golf course was //in case they come, in case they come for ma blood. That was quite a good night.// M816: //[laugh]// M815: Set up a few tents. M816: Yeah. M815: Used to go campin, up in, er, there's a place called Braeside. Er, which is in Greenock. Used to go campin up in the woods behind there. But ye co- you couldn't erm let anyone know you were goin, cause all the neds would come up and they would like //try and scare you and frighten you.// M816: //[inhale] [exhale]// There's a huge, now wait a minute, if you. There's a reservoir up above G- Greenock if I remember. M815: Yeah, there's a few //there's.// M816: //And there's a golf course up there.// M815: There's a few reservoirs. Erm, you're probably thinking of like the Greenock Golf Course, but I'm talking about the Gourock Golf //Course.// M816: //Aye.// M815: Yeah, there's like a a dam and stuff. M816: Yeah. M815: There's like a wee M816: Aye, I used tae winch this lassie frae Greenock. [sniff] Train doon to Greenock on a Friday night and t- first train back up on a Monday mornin. M815: Uh-huh No, there's not not really much appealing about Gourock and Greenock, [inaudible] M816: [laugh] M815: Ye ha- ye have to get out an M816: [laugh] M815: experience the sort of wider M816: [laugh] M815: [cough] You know what I mean? //[cough]// M816: //The g- the// [inaudible]. Is the //[inaudible] Lighthouse// M815: //[cough]// M816: still there? M815: Er yeah. M816: Aye. //There was a hotel next// M815: //It's still there.// M816: tae it as well. //[inaudible] Aye.// M815: //That's still there as well, aye.// It's like, taken over by a chain or something now, so it's like a big //fancy// M816: //I think// it used to be a Stakis one at one //time.// M815: //Yeah, it's// not Stakis that does it anymore, it's some someone else now, but it was that //for a while.// M816: //Yeah.// M815: The lighthouse is just down the road //from that.// M816: //Aye.// M815: It's like a big white lighthouse. M816: Mm [?]I was at one[/?] Was one New Year I got in tow with ehm it was a crowd of nu- er student nurses. And er M815: Ma sister's a student nurse, //actually.// M816: //Well we// set off, we set off from, it was along, they'd a flat along Great Western Road, M815: Yeah. M816: and we started, the New Year's party started in there, M815: [cough] M816: and I think on the fourth of January, we were in Barra, via Gourock, Dunoon, And I'd even managed to get to the Old Firm game on January the, the Old Firm game was still on er Ne'erday in those days, it was at Ibrox that year. And I'd actually still managed to get to the the Ne'erday game, the Ne'erday Old Firm game, and we ended up on Barra. And there were huge gaps of things I just have no //idea.// M815: //[laugh]// You ever been to Millport? M816: Aye, Crocodile Rock? //[sniff]// M815: //I quite like Millport.// That's ehm, if you go down to Largs and then //jump across from there, yeah.// M816: //That's it, jump jump across on the ferry.// Mm Aye. M815: I used to, been tae Millport a few times wi people. M816: Barassie, Troon, Prestwick, Ayr - oh that used to be the regular Sunday thing in the summer. M815: Aye, I like Troon. //Troon's alright.// M816: //Jump in the car an// drive doon to //Barassie// M815: //[cough]// M816: an Ayr. //an// M815: //[cough]// M816: Troon. Get in that water, it's good for ye! [snort] M815: Aye, not not the Clyde anyway. //I wouldn't, ye couldn't pay me to go in the Clyde these days.// M816: //[laugh]// //[laugh] Aye.// M815: //Cause it's like a sewage treatment plant, into Gourock, so if you go in the water down there, you know.// M816: There used to be a a a little ship called SS Shieldhall - there was a big sewerage plant at eh, at Shieldhall //in Glasgow.// M815: //Yeah.// M816: And there was a boat called the SS Shieldhall. And you could could go a cruise on the Clyde on this thing, and it was a sludge boat. M815: [laugh] M816: How, [inaudible] //[inaudible]// M815: //A banana// boat, ma granny used to call it. M816: Aye, that's it. //This was all the stuff that we used to// M815: //Aye. [cough]// M816: from the s- the sewerage works, got loaded on to this boat, And they took me doon the Clyde //the the Firth of Clyde.// M815: //Took on a wee tour.// M816: And you got sort of down south of Arran, right? And you looked off the stern o this boat, and [laugh] the water was turnin brown. //[laugh]// M815: //There's all of this sludge comin oot from behind it?// M816: [laugh] Where's that gonnae go? Know what I mean? M815: [inaudible] //[inaudible]// M816: //[?]Bet you[/?] all those// beaches along Saltcoats, Ardrossan //Ayr,// M815: //[laugh]// M816: Prestwick, which my mother used to tell me "Get in that water, it's good fur ye". [laugh] What? //[laugh] Aye.// M815: //All these blind children and dogs comin out, aye.// M816: Good grief! Ah Ye must be jokin. Aye. M815: Oh M816: Yeah. Y-y- you were talkin aboot d- the Gourock swimming pool havin a //a fish in it.// M815: //Yeah, yeah.// M816: Well, a lot of the places al- in Sydney, along part of the coast used to be a lot of these little holiday resorts that Sydney-siders used to go to for their holidays. M815: Yeah. M816: A a bit like Glaswegians used to go to Blackpool, Sydney-siders used to go to these places. M815: Yeah. M816: And they've all got sort of swimming pools, like fifty-metre swimming pools, but they're they're tidal, you know? The sea comes in, fills the swimming pool, tide goes oot, and you end up with a swimming pool. Peo-, you go you go swimmin on the east, and got to check, they they call them blueb-, the Australians call them blue-bottle, but they're actually Portuguese //man-o-war,// M815: //[inaudible]// //Jellyfish?// M816: //jellyfish!// //I mean ye gottae// M815: //Those things are lethal.// M816: [inaudible] [?]they're no half[/?]. You've got to check the the water before, you you make sure that none of these things are floatin aboot in the water, cause they get brought in. M815: Yeah. M816: Yeah. //Ye get// M815: //[?]I would say that[/?]// the thing we used to do, we used to [laugh] used to go down on the beach and throw stones at them, when you were a wee guy. M816: Aye. //Oh you see, ah well,// M815: //Jellyfish.// M816: oh ye see in eh, I mean, the the lifeguards'll put up signs, Blue-bottles. M815: Yeah. M816: Eh, and what's the other one? Blue-ringed octopuses, don't go near those things either. Eh, go tae Australia, come and visit Australia, the only c- the continent that's got the what is it, the the highest number of lethal insects and snakes in the world. M815: Yeah, it's like they're really strict about not bringin in any foreign //yeah, fauna and flora.// M816: //Very strict, yeah, ye get ye get searched// before ye ye arrive, and check ye, o- on the plane you've got to tick off, you haven't got these things, you haven't got that thing. The fact, eh, John was given a grant because when he bought the house he bought, it was an English garden that was in it. It was aw full of things like geraniums and aw the plants you would get here, M815: Yeah. M816: in the garden, but there of course they just grow all year. And eh he was given a grant to take all these plants oot, and the trees that had been planted in the garden which were all sort of European species. And he was given a grant to clear his whole garden of these plants and trees and replant it with eh indigenous species. M815: [inhale] //Ah [inaudible]// M816: //Because they're so// keen now. Plus the fact that ye've got to water these gardens constantly, and as he says, just [inaudible] And they have meters. You know, you turn the hose on and you just watch the meter spin. And he says that's it, get the things oot. M815: [laugh] M816: Put in, we'll plant indigenous species in here. And then there's there's Larry. He's got a lizard in his garden, which is indigenous, and it's gottae stay there; he can't get rid of it. M815: Yeah, and no matter how much he wants to, //cause that's like// M816: //Aye, so we// M815: its habitat, I //suppose, yeah.// M816: //Aye, it is.// See he's no bad; he's only got a lizard. His next-door neighbour's got an iguana, and this thing's aboot three //feet long.// M815: //[laugh]// M816: You want to see the size o this thing! Bloody hell! An it's a female. Whit? //So it// M815: //Yeah.// M816: well, it digs up and makes its nest, it lays its eggs, and there's nothin they can do aboot it. M815: An you get all sorts of wee baby iguanas and stuff. M816: Aye, nothin they can do aboot it, they've got to eh leave this thing. It's huge! It's bloody massive, //he's// M815: //He could// //charge people to come and see it.// M816: //[inaudible]// //Aye.// M815: //[cough]// M816: Oh go to hell. M815: Yeah. M816: [inaudible] You've got tae check the place for, er if you're ever in the outback in Australia if you go, you use a dunny, I mean there's there's no sewerage. M815: urgh M816: They're sort of dry toilets. And you've got to check the dunny to make sure a funnel web husnae made its its its web in the the toilet bowl. Cause they come up and they bite ye on the b- the //arse, and that's you, an these// M815: //I don't think I could be d-// M816: these things are serious. M815: Don't think I could be doin wi //that, really.// M816: //Aye.// M815: Mm M816: Redbacks you can spot because they've got little, they've go- actually have a red mark //on their on// M815: //Yeah.// M816: the back o the spider. But the one that causes all the problems's called a Huntsman. An it's not poisonous, but they've got a habit of goin intae cars. And they either go up under the dashboard or into the the sunvisor. And o course, you're wearing a pair o shorts, //and you're// M815: //Yeah.// M816: drivin along and you turn a corner and the sun's in your eyes, and you pull the visor down and this thing drops doon. They're huge, big and hairy and they're brown. Right? And we just don't have, I mean they're about the size of your hand. M815: So, car crashes, //cause o that?// M816: //Car crashes.// Aye. I opened the door o the the car one time, and one dropped oot. Onto the the grass. An I'm no jokin. Bob Beamon didnae jump further than I jumped, and I did it standin an goin backwards. //This thing, oh// M815: //[cough]// //[cough]// M816: //distance I// I mo- I mo- I must have landed twenty feet away from that, "Wow, what the hell's that?" M815: In, over in Ireland and stuff, like they have like roadsigns up that tell you so many peole have died on this road, cause of car //accidents an stuff and that's supposed to put you off.// M816: //That's right. Yeah. [laugh]// //[laugh]// M815: //Just scares the hell oot o me, as if someone's gonnae come in the back o the// //back o ye on the bus or something.// M816: //[laugh]// //[laugh]// M815: //It just seems extremely morbid.// //Sixteen// M816: //Aye.// M815: people have died on this road //since// M816: //Aye.// //Well we go// M815: //two thousand and one.// M816: when we go to Ireland, we go cycling. M815: Yeah. M816: [laugh] When we were over last August, we decided to cycle the Ulster Way from Newton, Newton, no White Abbey and Belfast Loch. It takes you right through to Newry. M815: Yeah. M816: Right. [laugh] We did it pub to pub //to pub to pub.// M815: //[laugh]// How would you get on a bike after you've been M816: You don't, you push it. We're in this little place called called, we- we're cyclin along sort of about lunchtime. Come on, we'll need to get somethin tae eat. This little sign "Points Pass", "ah, we'll go in there." [inaudible] this place Points Pass. There's, it's deserted! It's like ghost town. Right? And there's these orange flags are hangin oot, an I thought mmhm, yes, what's this? Every shop shut, everything shut, but the hotel's open, so we go into the hotel. And there's about four guys in the ho- in the hotel bar. I said Ireland, Saturday at lunchtime. M815: Yeah. M816: Four people. Place is deserted. What the hell's goin on? It was the Gaelic, Gaelic football final in Dublin. M815: Yeah. M816: An the local team had made it to the final, hence all the orange flags //cause that's// M815: //Yeah.// M816: the colour they play in. //And// M815: //So everybody's gone up to Dublin.// M816: they'd, the whole //town had disappeared// M815: //Yeah.// M816: down to Dublin except these sort of four guys and a couple of guys that worked in the b- ho- the Points Pass. We had tae stay the night. We couldnae get any further. [cough] We were absolutely pished //oot of oor// M815: //[laugh]// M816: heads, we were. Gutted. Cause we ke- ah, we're watchin it on the fin- big screen. And eh guys explaining the rules, and "you'll have a Guinness?" "Aye, okay then." That was us, rest of the night. M815: Have another one. M816: Have another one, have another one. And the guy was bringin out food. Sort of chef came out from the hotel, and was bringin out food, and all the rest of it, and that was us, whole night. Never put ma hand in ma pocket once. Pished as a fart. //Gutted.// M815: //[laugh]// M816: That was us. We'd tae push, luckily enough, what was it, the place we were staying for bed //an breakfast// M815: //You should have got// bikes with stabilisers //on it, [inaudible] any trouble. [laugh]// M816: //[cough] W- we'd a needed them.// Erm the place was only but eh, place we were stayin in was only, er, but he got us into bed and breakfast, which apparently was only about a mile along the road. We had to push //the bikes.// M815: //[laugh]// [laugh] //[inaudible]// M816: //Along to this// bed an breakfast, [inhale]. And the next morning we weren't doin too well either, tryin to cycle along this Ulster Way. M815: Well you wouldn't be. Guinness is, it's a it's a funny thing, if you drink if you drink it it's a funny kind of drunk you get, it's not //I don't know.// M816: //Aye.// //But I won't drink it here.// M815: //On me anyway.// M816: Pa- it's there's somethin about Guinness in Ireland that's entirely different from Guinness here. M815: It's a bit sweet here, if you get it. //Do you know what I mean?// M816: //Eh appa-// apparently it doesn't travel well. Apparently it doesn't travel well. I mean, the, if you go to the brew-, I mean you must have been to //the brewery in Dublin.// M815: //Yeah, I've been// to the brewery. //Yeah.// M816: //Done the tour.// M815: [laugh] gone up and and had a tastin an //aw that.// M816: //Yeah.// You doin English literature? M815: Eh, no I dropped that //last year.// M816: //Yeah I was// wonderin, cause if you do the Ulysses tour as well, [inaudible] doin Ulysses. You see you do the Ulysses tour round Dublin. You get, you'd actually do the tour, and you go to the various places that are mentioned in the book, at the times M815: Yeah, cause it's a single day, //yeah// M816: //Yeah.// M815: obviously. M816: That he's the- that he's there. So you actually walk rou-. You sort of walk round Dublin visiting all the places at the same times as he was there. A good way to spend a day. M815: Yeah. M816: Good way to spend a day. M815: Aye, I enjoyed the tour. That was. M816: Mmhm the distill- the the brewery. M815: Yeah. M816: Aye. This work is protected by copyright. All rights reserved. The SCOTS Project and the University of Glasgow do not necessarily endorse, support or recommend the views expressed in this document. Information about document and author: Audio Audio audience Adults (18+): For gender: Males Audience size: 2 Audio awareness & spontaneity Speaker awareness: Aware Degree of spontaneity: Spontaneous Audio footage information Year of recording: 2005 Recording person id: 718 Size (min): 54 Size (mb): 313 Audio medium Other: Private conversation Audio setting Education: Private/personal: Recording venue: Lecturer's office Geographic location of speech: Glasgow Audio relationship between recorder/interviewer and speakers Not previously acquainted: Speakers knew each other: Not sure Audio speaker relationships Members of the same group e.g. schoolmates: Audio transcription information Transcriber id: 718 Year of transcription: 2005 Year material recorded: 2005 Word count: 12111 Audio type Conversation: Participant Participant details Participant id: 815 Gender: Male Decade of birth: 1980 Educational attainment: Highers/A-levels Age left school: 18 Upbringing/religious beliefs: Catholicism Occupation: Student Place of birth: Gourock Region of birth: Renfrew Birthplace CSD dialect area: Renfr Country of birth: Scotland Place of residence: Glasgow Region of residence: Glasgow Residence CSD dialect area: Gsw Country of residence: Scotland Father's place of birth: Greenock Father's region of birth: Renfrew Father's birthplace CSD dialect area: Renfr Father's country of birth: Scotland Mother's place of birth: Greenock Mother's region of birth: Renfrew Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area: Renfr Mother's country of birth: Scotland Languages: Language: English Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: Everywhere Language: Scots Speak: Yes Read: Yes Write: Yes Understand: Yes Circumstances: Home / informal situations Participant Participant details Participant id: 816 Gender: Male Decade of birth: 1950 Educational attainment: University Age left school: 15 Upbringing/religious beliefs: Protestantism Occupation: Student Place of birth: Glasgow Region of birth: Glasgow Birthplace CSD dialect area: Gsw Country of birth: Scotland Place of residence: Burnside Region of residence: Lanark Residence CSD dialect area: Lnk Country of residence: Scotland Father's occupation: Engineer Father's place of birth: Rutherglen Father's region of birth: Lanark Father's birthplace CSD dialect area: Lnk Father's country of birth: Scotland Mother's occupation: Buyer Mother's place of birth: Glasgow Mother's region of birth: Glasgow Mother's birthplace CSD dialect area: Lnk Mother's country of birth: Scotland