Document 540

Craiters: 16 - Hairt Sorry

Author(s): Alexander Fenton

Copyright holder(s): Alexander Fenton

A body dis a lot o things ey dinna wint tae dee. I left e hoose ae mornin, it wis intill e second wik o June, aifter a nicht o shooery rain. E day wisna bad, jist a coolness fin I opent e door. E leafs on e geen tree hid a drap at ilky pint, ere wis silver ballies o water on e heids o e girse, an e grun wis fine an sappy. E kinna wither at gangs tae growth, though I will admit ere's times ye feel aafa crivvt in fin aathing roon ye's jist a carant o green foggitch. I dinna ken bit fit I like e openness o winter better, haad awa fae e caal.

Onywye, I haivt up e garage door an got ma car oot. Ere's at muckle trock at e sides at ye've tae steer gey cannie, an ye've tae see tee at ye dinna knack e side mirror on e frame o e door as ye come oot backlins. Eence I wis clear, I stoppit in e run-in an climmt oot tae steek e door. I jist happent tae look doon as ma fit landit on e graivel an there begod wis twa snails wi eir bonny strippit shallies, linkit egither in a state o holy matrimony. Ye cd see e silver roadies ey'd made ower e steens at e rain hid sypit. They werena hashed bit I wis, so I shut e door an back intill e car, watchin ma feet nae tae disturb em.

Back I cam at nicht, wheekin intill e run-in at a fair lick, as I ay dee. I'm eest till't, bit it's ill for giein onybody wi's a fleg, an e openin looks tichter wi e growth o wallflooer an antirrhiniums at ilky side an up e middle. I jist minet on e snails fin I geed tae tak ma paperies oot o e back seat an aye, e craiters wis ay ere, niver an upple or divall e hale o e day.

‘Ye're deein weel, ma birkies',

said I tae masel, as I held in for ma supper.

Aa weel, it wis een o is nichts fin baby-sittin hid tae be deen at ma dother's. I saa tae ma ain tae, syne quarriet a file amon ma byeuks or e phone rang tae gie's ma mairchin orders. Aff I set till e far side o e toon, newsed a filie at e hoose, syne back again. Throwe e evenin, fin e traffic's lichter, it disna haad lang, though it jist braks up yer time fin ye're tryin tae get on wi things. Onywye, fit's deen's nae tae be deen; bit ma heid wis wirkin awa at fit I’d been deein, writin something at wis tae gang intill a byeuk, an afore I minet I pit ma fit on tap o e snailies. Een wis get flattent an e ither hid a crackit shall. I pat ma finger till em, bit baith hid eir sookers ticht till e grun. Nae eese tryin tae meeve em. I niver spak, jist pat e car in, leave em be wis aa I cd dee.

In e mornin I set aff again as I ay dee. Ae snail wis faar I’d left em. E idder, crackit shall or no, hid gotten craalt a maitter o gey near three feet, leavin its bonny trackie, an syne dee’t. Ir nicht e birds an e beetles hid clearet e lot. I wis jist hairt sorry.

Information about Document 540

Craiters: 16 - Hairt Sorry